So, here it is a day before the 4th of July and a company I do business with made a montage for the 4th of July and sent it out. I am listening to the age old song "God bless the USA" also called "Proud to be an American" crying my eyes out. Mark it down for pregnancy harmones but there is so much I am thinking right now - that's why I am writing becuase my heart is overflowing and I need to let it all out.
First, there are so many many things that I am thankful for. God I thank you for my children. Even when they act like me and it gets on my nerves. Thank you that they are free! Thank you for my husband that loves someone else more than me - and that the someone is you. So many women don't have the peaceful home that I have. Thank you so very much. I know that my flesh doesn't deserve any of this but becuase you love me you gave it all to me. Thank you! Thank you for my extended family both physical and spiritual. So many times in my life I couldn't get through today without their help. Thank you that I have ears to hear the sounds around me and sight to see your many glories. Thank you for my tomorrows and my yesterdays.
Lord, my heart goes out to the families of the men and women who are defending this country right now. Warm their hearts with the love and peace only you can give. Thank you for the many sons and daughters that are overseas for a country that can't even agree on if they should be there or not. Lord, for those men and women that are serving right now - I pray you will cover them with such love and peace they know that it came directly from heaven above.
You want it is like to give a son to ungrateful people. Let an ungrateful America see that men and women are serving right now and losing their lives that they are serving for even them.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
What's in a Name
God has so many names! There is a song out by a not-so-well-known artist that just brings all of this into one song. It is incredible. I truly believe that there is a almighty power that is called forth by calling God his full name(s). It is like being in a room full of people and you are callling your children but without response, but then you add that middle name and they immediately turn around.
The next time you need that peace that passes all human understanding try calling out to Jehovah Shalom - The Lord is my Peace! I can't really explain it in words. It is just more powerful!
Oh by the way the song I am talking about is "I love to say Your name" by John Waller.
There is so much power in the names of God. I have already posted one blog about my Jehovah Nissi. I am working on one about My Jehovah Rapha - The Lord my Healer. I am not posting it yet because I am not happy with the structure of it yet. I hope to post it soon.
The next time you need that peace that passes all human understanding try calling out to Jehovah Shalom - The Lord is my Peace! I can't really explain it in words. It is just more powerful!
Oh by the way the song I am talking about is "I love to say Your name" by John Waller.
There is so much power in the names of God. I have already posted one blog about my Jehovah Nissi. I am working on one about My Jehovah Rapha - The Lord my Healer. I am not posting it yet because I am not happy with the structure of it yet. I hope to post it soon.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Jer 29:11 - In a New Light
11 For I know the plans I have for you,
declares the LORD, plans for welfare (peace) and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope.
You this is a scripture that I have heard all my life to encourage me through a rough time, to lift me up when I was dicouraged, or just to help me through a velly season. But last night as I was praying for a friend I realized something. This was spoken from the heart of God to me, and in the same way my husband, my children, and my friends should know that I feel the same way about them.
I want my husband to let me know that even when we disagree, or he feels differently about something than I do, that his plans for me are for peace and hope. He should feel the same way about me. My everyday actions should let him know that I want our future to be happy. That if I confront him about something that it is becuase I want our future to be better.
My children should see that even when I have to discipline them that it is becuase I love them and it is going to make the future more peaceful.
All in all, it goes along with doing everything in love. Maybe it is just seeing it in a diiferent light. It makes me examine my motives and actions more closely.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Who is God? My Jehovah Nissi
Recently, during worship God simply asked me who he was to me and I heard the question, "How can you worship someone without knowing who they are?" So I began going through the small list of names of God that I knew and what they meant to me. So now I am going to go through and spend a little time on each one of them as I am led and dig a little deeper into what they mean and the scriptures attached to the name.
My favorite is Jehovah Nissi. It simply means The Lord Our Banner.
The only reference to this is in Exodus 17:15. Moses had sent Joshua to war with Amalek. Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up on the mountain overlooking the battlefield. If Moses' hands were up the army was winning, if not they were losing. So Aaron and Hur stood on either side and held up his hands for him. After the batlle was won Moses built an alter to The Lord Our Banner.
I find it strange that this is the only place where it is mentioned. However you can find many references to banners in battle. The banner is what identified your family, your army, whatever group you were in. The people carrying the banner were the first ones to the battle field.
Pslams 60:4 says: Then you planted a flag to rally your people, an unfurled flag to look to for courage. (the message) Other versions say a banner.
Song of Soloman 2:4 says: He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
Whenever I think of God being my Jehovah Nissi I see a majestic banner that goes before me into battle and everyday life. This banner is so majestic that it alone demands respect. The enemy fears this banner because it is a banner that never falls during battle. I see Aslan from the movie standing on the rock with a majestic beautiful flowing banner behind him.
The banner over each and every one of us is LOVE. He loves us more than we will ever be able to grasp. He stands over us even when we battle. All we have to do is look to him in that battle and He will give us courage.
My favorite is Jehovah Nissi. It simply means The Lord Our Banner.
The only reference to this is in Exodus 17:15. Moses had sent Joshua to war with Amalek. Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up on the mountain overlooking the battlefield. If Moses' hands were up the army was winning, if not they were losing. So Aaron and Hur stood on either side and held up his hands for him. After the batlle was won Moses built an alter to The Lord Our Banner.
I find it strange that this is the only place where it is mentioned. However you can find many references to banners in battle. The banner is what identified your family, your army, whatever group you were in. The people carrying the banner were the first ones to the battle field.
Pslams 60:4 says: Then you planted a flag to rally your people, an unfurled flag to look to for courage. (the message) Other versions say a banner.
Song of Soloman 2:4 says: He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
Whenever I think of God being my Jehovah Nissi I see a majestic banner that goes before me into battle and everyday life. This banner is so majestic that it alone demands respect. The enemy fears this banner because it is a banner that never falls during battle. I see Aslan from the movie standing on the rock with a majestic beautiful flowing banner behind him.
The banner over each and every one of us is LOVE. He loves us more than we will ever be able to grasp. He stands over us even when we battle. All we have to do is look to him in that battle and He will give us courage.
Monday, March 31, 2008
pink impact 08
The drums and the heartbeat of God
During worship one session, God told me, “Listen to the drums.” I don’t even know what song was being sung but the drums were strong and resonated in my chest. I could get pass the strong deep base drum. Then he said, “That’s my heartbeat.” All weekend during worship I kept hearing the drums and found myself sitting down closing my eyes and focusing just on the driving force of the drums. I was also driven to listen to the song “little Drummer Boy.” I couldn’t shake the feeling. I tried to go into the bathroom and listen to it but I couldn’t focus on the song because of too many distractions. Later that night I got to sit down and listen to the song. So far I have gotten that God wants me to walk to a different beat and he doesn’t want me to just hear it, he wants me to feel the heartbeat of God and be able to respond to it in an instant. The beat is strong and deep and is a driving force. But, it is not a beat that I am creating, I am only following it.
The beat is the heartbeat of God. I just have to be close enough to feel it. I pictured the scene in Dirty Dancing where he and Babe are starting to practice and she has her hand on his chest on his hand on hers tapping the rhythm of the song on her hand with his fingers. Then when she gets the rhythm they start dancing. But instead God was standing behind me with his arms around me. My hand was on my chest over my heart on his hand was covering mine. I could feel his chest pressed close to my back and could feel his pulse. He was tapping his fingers against my hand wanting my heartbeat to match his. Of course God is no human – so it was not just a steady pulse. It was more like the beat of a drum in a song.
(These are the notes I made in the hotel that night as I listened to “The little drummer boy” over and over.) Heartbeat, God wants me to feel, know, and even anticipate His heartbeat. Like a drum it can change timing, rhythm, and intensity at any moment. It fills the music around it. It supports the music, the song, the lyrics. Without it the music sounds empty or even lifeless. The drums are the heartbeat of the song. The drums often drive the dance. Drummers are different. Drummers must be in sync with each other. There is a team. I must surround myself with other drummers, others of a different breed. We flow with each other knowing when it is our turn as lead and when we support.
· All of this must be done to bring Him honor
· I have to come. Move. Let’s roll!
· I can’t let the “finest gifts” of the “other kings” intimidate me
· Drummers have a different language
· I have no gift that I THINK is honorable enough
· God will bless what is in my hand – I have so much more than I can see with my physical eyes
· Mary nodded – I have permission
· When I play “my drum” praise will be lifted to honor the king
· I WILL play my best for Him – that is what I have been called to do. He is always listening to me
· I already have a smile from him
Me in a box
God also showed me something about myself this weekend. Growing up I was always taught not to put God in a box. Well, I haven’t. I know God is big enough to do anything. He can heal, he will provide, he is I AM. BUT – I have put myself in a box. I have told God, “Yeah you are big enough to do whatever you want. There is nothing you can’t do. But not using me. I am always just going to be here and I am not big enough to really change the world. Yeah, I can impact a few close friends but I am not going to be doing anything much bigger than I am right now.” I have put myself in a box. Not expecting to ever get out.
Something bigger than me
That same night God birthed something in my spirit. I am still not sure what it is. I know it is bigger than anything I have ever expected. The size of what it is going end up as truly scares me. It is bigger than me. I don’t know exactly what it is, but God showed me that I was going to start something very large. Larger than myself. I don’t know what it is or what I should do with this feeling that I have. It is just a God seed right now. I feel a stirring in my spirit though. A feeling that there is a seed of something in my spirit that is powerful, life-changing, and bigger than me. I just get this feeling that I am not going to do it alone but that I am going to spark it off. I am going to have a large part of getting it started but God is going to bring the expansion. It is HUGE! And I have no idea of what “it” is. It is ministry but to who, or how, or why, I don’t know. It will change lives and bring Him honor. I see myself with leaders organizing and putting this together with great anticipation and urgency. But I don’t know what “it” is yet.
It goes back to the heartbeat thing. I feel that the next season in my life is going to be very different than anything I know right now. I have been called to find the heartbeat of God. To feel it, anticipate it, learn it, and then there will come a time when I will be called upon to play and I am going to have to be ready.
While one of the speakers was talking God quicken this in my spirit, “Stop. Drop. Roll.” I asked why. And he simply said, “When on fire – Stop, Drop, Roll.” While I was praying about this, I saw that when I was in the awesome anointing fire of God I needed to stop drop and roll. Stop and be still to hear the voice of God. Drop the things of life that just make us “busy” and notice, really notice what was going on in that moment. Roll with what action I need to take in that very moment.
What does a sparkplug do? It fires. I am God’s sparkplug. There will be divine moments where God cuase me to fire and I must be ready to Stop, drop and roll in that moment. One of those moments God is going to start something that is divine and bigger than myself and it will cause a movement in the body of Christ to bring his bride closer to him. I just have to be ready. That is my only responsibility. Thank you for showing me that God. THANK YOU THANK YOU TAHNK YOU!
During worship one session, God told me, “Listen to the drums.” I don’t even know what song was being sung but the drums were strong and resonated in my chest. I could get pass the strong deep base drum. Then he said, “That’s my heartbeat.” All weekend during worship I kept hearing the drums and found myself sitting down closing my eyes and focusing just on the driving force of the drums. I was also driven to listen to the song “little Drummer Boy.” I couldn’t shake the feeling. I tried to go into the bathroom and listen to it but I couldn’t focus on the song because of too many distractions. Later that night I got to sit down and listen to the song. So far I have gotten that God wants me to walk to a different beat and he doesn’t want me to just hear it, he wants me to feel the heartbeat of God and be able to respond to it in an instant. The beat is strong and deep and is a driving force. But, it is not a beat that I am creating, I am only following it.
The beat is the heartbeat of God. I just have to be close enough to feel it. I pictured the scene in Dirty Dancing where he and Babe are starting to practice and she has her hand on his chest on his hand on hers tapping the rhythm of the song on her hand with his fingers. Then when she gets the rhythm they start dancing. But instead God was standing behind me with his arms around me. My hand was on my chest over my heart on his hand was covering mine. I could feel his chest pressed close to my back and could feel his pulse. He was tapping his fingers against my hand wanting my heartbeat to match his. Of course God is no human – so it was not just a steady pulse. It was more like the beat of a drum in a song.
(These are the notes I made in the hotel that night as I listened to “The little drummer boy” over and over.) Heartbeat, God wants me to feel, know, and even anticipate His heartbeat. Like a drum it can change timing, rhythm, and intensity at any moment. It fills the music around it. It supports the music, the song, the lyrics. Without it the music sounds empty or even lifeless. The drums are the heartbeat of the song. The drums often drive the dance. Drummers are different. Drummers must be in sync with each other. There is a team. I must surround myself with other drummers, others of a different breed. We flow with each other knowing when it is our turn as lead and when we support.
· All of this must be done to bring Him honor
· I have to come. Move. Let’s roll!
· I can’t let the “finest gifts” of the “other kings” intimidate me
· Drummers have a different language
· I have no gift that I THINK is honorable enough
· God will bless what is in my hand – I have so much more than I can see with my physical eyes
· Mary nodded – I have permission
· When I play “my drum” praise will be lifted to honor the king
· I WILL play my best for Him – that is what I have been called to do. He is always listening to me
· I already have a smile from him
Me in a box
God also showed me something about myself this weekend. Growing up I was always taught not to put God in a box. Well, I haven’t. I know God is big enough to do anything. He can heal, he will provide, he is I AM. BUT – I have put myself in a box. I have told God, “Yeah you are big enough to do whatever you want. There is nothing you can’t do. But not using me. I am always just going to be here and I am not big enough to really change the world. Yeah, I can impact a few close friends but I am not going to be doing anything much bigger than I am right now.” I have put myself in a box. Not expecting to ever get out.
Something bigger than me
That same night God birthed something in my spirit. I am still not sure what it is. I know it is bigger than anything I have ever expected. The size of what it is going end up as truly scares me. It is bigger than me. I don’t know exactly what it is, but God showed me that I was going to start something very large. Larger than myself. I don’t know what it is or what I should do with this feeling that I have. It is just a God seed right now. I feel a stirring in my spirit though. A feeling that there is a seed of something in my spirit that is powerful, life-changing, and bigger than me. I just get this feeling that I am not going to do it alone but that I am going to spark it off. I am going to have a large part of getting it started but God is going to bring the expansion. It is HUGE! And I have no idea of what “it” is. It is ministry but to who, or how, or why, I don’t know. It will change lives and bring Him honor. I see myself with leaders organizing and putting this together with great anticipation and urgency. But I don’t know what “it” is yet.
It goes back to the heartbeat thing. I feel that the next season in my life is going to be very different than anything I know right now. I have been called to find the heartbeat of God. To feel it, anticipate it, learn it, and then there will come a time when I will be called upon to play and I am going to have to be ready.
While one of the speakers was talking God quicken this in my spirit, “Stop. Drop. Roll.” I asked why. And he simply said, “When on fire – Stop, Drop, Roll.” While I was praying about this, I saw that when I was in the awesome anointing fire of God I needed to stop drop and roll. Stop and be still to hear the voice of God. Drop the things of life that just make us “busy” and notice, really notice what was going on in that moment. Roll with what action I need to take in that very moment.
What does a sparkplug do? It fires. I am God’s sparkplug. There will be divine moments where God cuase me to fire and I must be ready to Stop, drop and roll in that moment. One of those moments God is going to start something that is divine and bigger than myself and it will cause a movement in the body of Christ to bring his bride closer to him. I just have to be ready. That is my only responsibility. Thank you for showing me that God. THANK YOU THANK YOU TAHNK YOU!
Monday, March 10, 2008
I'M PREGNANT!!!
So, for those who don't know I am pregnant. I wanted to wait until I went to the doctor until I posted anything. God's timing is AWESOME!! Anyway - the doctor did an ultrasound and according to him I am right around 5 weeks. My due date is Nov. 8th. I am really excited! I am REALLY hoping for a girl this time. We haven't fully picked a name or anything yet.
Okay, well I have to go clean now - BOO! But I can use my birthday present. (A shark steam mop) We'll see how good it works.
Okay, well I have to go clean now - BOO! But I can use my birthday present. (A shark steam mop) We'll see how good it works.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Isaiah 43:18-19
Okay, in light of my last post I feel I need to post the answer I have recieved from my Father.
The verse is
18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
This verse has been brought before me several times now from different places. I can fell it's renewing breath wash over me.
Thank you Father!!!
The verse is
18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
This verse has been brought before me several times now from different places. I can fell it's renewing breath wash over me.
Thank you Father!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The Dynamic of Exchange
Wise women know what to hold fast to and what to release. They exchange the things of death for the blessings of life. As I let these words soak into my spirit and write themselves on my heart I lay in bed ready to weap.
I have to say this is going to be a very personal blog that is hard for me to write. I don't want to put these words on "paper" but I know I need to. I am struggling right now to get started and to realese what is in my heart. I want to make this post private and not let anyone read it but then that is not really letting go is it? So... here goes nothing... no not nothing... here goes a release in the spirit.
For a while I have struggled with the fact that I felt like I failed my two boys in their first years. And I failed the very description of being a mom. I resented having them so close (13 months) I thought that the joy of either pregnancy was taken from me. See with Daniel I was in a car wreck during the sixth month. So the rest of the pregnancy was over shadowed with fear and physical pain for while anyway. With Andrew I couldn't focus all of my energy on the joys of being pregnant becuase I was often too sick and still having to give mommy time to Daniel who was only 4 months old when I got pregnant. Then with having two of them in diapers, breast feeding one and bottle feeding the other I didn't force myself to stop and enjoy them. All I look back and see is staying tired and being miserable. I am not supposed to fell that way about the beginning of my children's life. I feel I failed as a mother becuase I can not honestly remeber holding either one of them for the first time. It hurts to listen to women who talk about the connection they instantly made with their baby the first time they looked at each other. I have no memory of either. And that hurts like you can't believe. I will never get back those moments.
So to try to heal myself I convince myself that I could do it better the next time. And the next time should be right away. I tell myself over and over just try again when you have the next baby - which has to be a girl becuase thats what I want. Well, it is just not that easy. People look at me and say I am crazy for wanting another one. While I am silently shouting - BUT IF I DONT HAVE ANOTHER BABY I CAN"T PROOVE THAT I AM NOT A FAILURE! It is not just a want - IT IS A NEED! But my husband (in his words) is "okay with not having another child." I AM NOT OKAY! I feel like I have to proove myself.
So for the past couple of days I have been addressing this in my spirit. I have to be okay with whatever God wants. Me and my husband are to be one. And this is putting a wall between us. (Dusty - if you read this please understand I am not gripping or complaining. I am trying to release this so that I can move past it. Thank you for understanding.) I have to release my desire for another baby. I think well, if i say that I am okay with not ever being pregnant again, then God will hear me and he wants me to be happy and he knows that another baby will make me happy. So basically I never really let go.
I am exchanging the what I see as past failures for God's encouragement that I am a good mother.
I exchange the need of a another child for the deisre to know my husbands heart on a deeper level.
I exchange the void of memories I should have for memories I will make with Daniel and Andrew each and every day.
I have come to realize that even if I have another baby, I will never get back what I feel like I lost with the first two. So now I re;ease all of those feelings and say to the enemy I might not have let God turn me into the the jewel he wanted to create then, but that does not make me a failure I take back my miserable past and give it to the Father that was always there right beside and I will no longer dwell on what I feel that I missed but I will dweel on what I remeber as great. The days I would breastfeed Andrew and rock Daniel with a bottle just praying that we could all sleep just a little. The times I would just watch Andrew and Daniel sleeping. the first time Daniel ate a pickle. how Andrew would cry until we set him in his walker and Uncle Daryl would give him a graham cracker to chew on until it was so slobbery he couldn't hold on to it. The day Daniel stood in the chair above Andrew on the floor and was eating a cookie spilling the crumbs on Andrew and Andrew would pick up the smaller pieces and eat them. How much fun they had in GoGo's pool. I cling to those memories, never to let go of them.
Lord, you know there will always be a severt place in my heart that wants a baby girl. But now I can say that it is not becuase I want to proove that I can do it, It is becuase I want to bring a lovely mighty daughter of God into this world and teach her how to fight like a girl. I know I have a connection to my boys but i know there is a different sort of connection with a little girl. Lord, I may not really mean it right this moment but I will say it until I do mean it. I am okay with not being pregnant again. I feel the release happening in the spirit. I don't have to get pregant to fix my past. The past is gone. Thank you Lord. Thank you for bringing me to this place. Thank you for exchanging the past for the future.
I have to say this is going to be a very personal blog that is hard for me to write. I don't want to put these words on "paper" but I know I need to. I am struggling right now to get started and to realese what is in my heart. I want to make this post private and not let anyone read it but then that is not really letting go is it? So... here goes nothing... no not nothing... here goes a release in the spirit.
For a while I have struggled with the fact that I felt like I failed my two boys in their first years. And I failed the very description of being a mom. I resented having them so close (13 months) I thought that the joy of either pregnancy was taken from me. See with Daniel I was in a car wreck during the sixth month. So the rest of the pregnancy was over shadowed with fear and physical pain for while anyway. With Andrew I couldn't focus all of my energy on the joys of being pregnant becuase I was often too sick and still having to give mommy time to Daniel who was only 4 months old when I got pregnant. Then with having two of them in diapers, breast feeding one and bottle feeding the other I didn't force myself to stop and enjoy them. All I look back and see is staying tired and being miserable. I am not supposed to fell that way about the beginning of my children's life. I feel I failed as a mother becuase I can not honestly remeber holding either one of them for the first time. It hurts to listen to women who talk about the connection they instantly made with their baby the first time they looked at each other. I have no memory of either. And that hurts like you can't believe. I will never get back those moments.
So to try to heal myself I convince myself that I could do it better the next time. And the next time should be right away. I tell myself over and over just try again when you have the next baby - which has to be a girl becuase thats what I want. Well, it is just not that easy. People look at me and say I am crazy for wanting another one. While I am silently shouting - BUT IF I DONT HAVE ANOTHER BABY I CAN"T PROOVE THAT I AM NOT A FAILURE! It is not just a want - IT IS A NEED! But my husband (in his words) is "okay with not having another child." I AM NOT OKAY! I feel like I have to proove myself.
So for the past couple of days I have been addressing this in my spirit. I have to be okay with whatever God wants. Me and my husband are to be one. And this is putting a wall between us. (Dusty - if you read this please understand I am not gripping or complaining. I am trying to release this so that I can move past it. Thank you for understanding.) I have to release my desire for another baby. I think well, if i say that I am okay with not ever being pregnant again, then God will hear me and he wants me to be happy and he knows that another baby will make me happy. So basically I never really let go.
I am exchanging the what I see as past failures for God's encouragement that I am a good mother.
I exchange the need of a another child for the deisre to know my husbands heart on a deeper level.
I exchange the void of memories I should have for memories I will make with Daniel and Andrew each and every day.
I have come to realize that even if I have another baby, I will never get back what I feel like I lost with the first two. So now I re;ease all of those feelings and say to the enemy I might not have let God turn me into the the jewel he wanted to create then, but that does not make me a failure I take back my miserable past and give it to the Father that was always there right beside and I will no longer dwell on what I feel that I missed but I will dweel on what I remeber as great. The days I would breastfeed Andrew and rock Daniel with a bottle just praying that we could all sleep just a little. The times I would just watch Andrew and Daniel sleeping. the first time Daniel ate a pickle. how Andrew would cry until we set him in his walker and Uncle Daryl would give him a graham cracker to chew on until it was so slobbery he couldn't hold on to it. The day Daniel stood in the chair above Andrew on the floor and was eating a cookie spilling the crumbs on Andrew and Andrew would pick up the smaller pieces and eat them. How much fun they had in GoGo's pool. I cling to those memories, never to let go of them.
Lord, you know there will always be a severt place in my heart that wants a baby girl. But now I can say that it is not becuase I want to proove that I can do it, It is becuase I want to bring a lovely mighty daughter of God into this world and teach her how to fight like a girl. I know I have a connection to my boys but i know there is a different sort of connection with a little girl. Lord, I may not really mean it right this moment but I will say it until I do mean it. I am okay with not being pregnant again. I feel the release happening in the spirit. I don't have to get pregant to fix my past. The past is gone. Thank you Lord. Thank you for bringing me to this place. Thank you for exchanging the past for the future.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Gifts from the Father (FLaG Ch.6)
I have learned something from a favorite book of mine and when, why, and how I am to Fight as a Daughter of the most High God. The book is the Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis. If you have never read the book or watched the movie they are both excellent. This revelation came to be through another book I am reading and loving: Fight Like a Girl (FLaG) by Lisa Bevere. (Also a great book for women of all ages!)
Let me recap for you a little:
Narnia is a magical place found by a little girl named Lucy. The world is under the control of evil and it has been winter for years on end. It was proficied that 2 sons of eve and 2 daughters of eve would come and bring spring back to the land. Lucy and her brothers and sister come. At one point they meet Father Christmas, becuase before spring can come fully the life and joy of Christmas must first visit the land again. There is too much spiritually there than I have time and patience to type. The gifts that Father Christmas brings is what I want to focus on right now. Like I said if you haven't watched the movie go rent it TODAY!
From the book;
"Susan, Eve's daughter," said Father Christmas. "These are for you," and he handed a bow and a quiver full of arrows and a little ivory horn. "You must use the bow only in great need," he said"for I do not mean you to fight in the battle. It does not easily miss. And when you put thus horn to your lips and blow it, then wherever you are, I think help of some kind will come to you."
He gave her [Lucy] a little bottle of what looked like glass (but people said afterwards that it was made of diamond) and a small dagger. "In this bottle," he said, "there is a cordial made of the juice of one of the fire-flowers that grow in the mountains of the sun. If you or any of your firends are hurt, a few drops of this will restore you. And the dagger is to defend yourself at great need. For you also are not to be in the battle"
So basically each girl got two gifts. I know that God has given us each of these gifts as well.
The first gift is the gift of bow and a full quiver of arrows. Psalms 127:4 says "like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth." So our children are our arrows. As a mother I am called to position my children and launch them into the future. Just like shooting a physical bow and arrow there is a process to this: you have to draw back steady and slow, center your sights on the target, and release. At this time in my life I know I am in the first step of that process.
Susan's second gift was a horn. Father Christmas told her that in time of need to use this and that help of some kind would show itself. This is our prayers. We have been given a incredible link to the heart of God through prayer. This a weapon of great strength. I believe that sometimes we see things far in the distance that others around may not see. This is when we are called to pray. Prayers are also like arrows because they are both launched into the future. I also want to point out that help of some kind will appear. This means that it is not always the help that we wanted. God will show himself mighty if we jut trust Him.
Now unto Lucy's gifts. First she was given the cordial. In my soul I know this was a deep crimson juice. It is to represent the healing power of God through the blood of Jesus Christ. What a powerful gift! It was not to simply heal but to RESTORE. After a wound is healed there may still be a lingering pain but when something is restored it is often more glorious than when it was damaged.
Secondly, she was given a dagger. This shows me that we are to strike when the enemy draws near. And that when it is time to strike God will use whatever is in our hands. You may not see what is in your hands that is powerful but think of these weapons: money to single mom who needs some extra groceries, prayer with a friend in need, an encouraging word to a neighbor who is hurting, a blanket to a cold orphan, and the list goes on. My sister, what God has placed in your hands in annointed! It has a mark, a destiny and it will bless! You may not see the outcome with physical eyes but God will bring it about in his timing. you have to listen to the voice of God, when he calls you to fight you will be armed and dangerous. Sometimes our weapons are unexpected but they are none-the-less powerful!
you might ask the question why not the gift of the mighty sword and sheild so that we can ride into battle and defend the King in love... I only ask this: Is it more noble to wound and kill or to bring heling and strength to the army?
One final thought: Susan's gifts were both for seeing with spiritual eyes. We see spiritually where our arrows are to go and we see the spiritaul attack of Satan coming and when to pray. Lucy's gifts were both physical. We must physically reach out to heal those around us. And the dagger represents the actions we take to attack the enemy. I see where God has given all of these gifts to his Daughters and the privilege to use them.
This prayer is from Fight Like a Girl:
Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus and by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Please reveal the importnace of my position. When I look at myself, I don't see it. But when I lift my eyes and look at the desperate need and devastation surrounding me, I long to have my part. I want to prove my love in every way possible. I will not despise the cordial of healing. I eill intercede for life in the face of death. I want to walk in wisdom, intuition, and understanding. I want to enter in the adventure of partnering with You to redee, the attack of the enemy. I will put arrows to the string. I will equip my children and send my prayers heaven ward. I am Your answer to so many problems; open my eyes to see it clearly. AMEN
Let me recap for you a little:
Narnia is a magical place found by a little girl named Lucy. The world is under the control of evil and it has been winter for years on end. It was proficied that 2 sons of eve and 2 daughters of eve would come and bring spring back to the land. Lucy and her brothers and sister come. At one point they meet Father Christmas, becuase before spring can come fully the life and joy of Christmas must first visit the land again. There is too much spiritually there than I have time and patience to type. The gifts that Father Christmas brings is what I want to focus on right now. Like I said if you haven't watched the movie go rent it TODAY!
From the book;
"Susan, Eve's daughter," said Father Christmas. "These are for you," and he handed a bow and a quiver full of arrows and a little ivory horn. "You must use the bow only in great need," he said"for I do not mean you to fight in the battle. It does not easily miss. And when you put thus horn to your lips and blow it, then wherever you are, I think help of some kind will come to you."
He gave her [Lucy] a little bottle of what looked like glass (but people said afterwards that it was made of diamond) and a small dagger. "In this bottle," he said, "there is a cordial made of the juice of one of the fire-flowers that grow in the mountains of the sun. If you or any of your firends are hurt, a few drops of this will restore you. And the dagger is to defend yourself at great need. For you also are not to be in the battle"
So basically each girl got two gifts. I know that God has given us each of these gifts as well.
The first gift is the gift of bow and a full quiver of arrows. Psalms 127:4 says "like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth." So our children are our arrows. As a mother I am called to position my children and launch them into the future. Just like shooting a physical bow and arrow there is a process to this: you have to draw back steady and slow, center your sights on the target, and release. At this time in my life I know I am in the first step of that process.
Susan's second gift was a horn. Father Christmas told her that in time of need to use this and that help of some kind would show itself. This is our prayers. We have been given a incredible link to the heart of God through prayer. This a weapon of great strength. I believe that sometimes we see things far in the distance that others around may not see. This is when we are called to pray. Prayers are also like arrows because they are both launched into the future. I also want to point out that help of some kind will appear. This means that it is not always the help that we wanted. God will show himself mighty if we jut trust Him.
Now unto Lucy's gifts. First she was given the cordial. In my soul I know this was a deep crimson juice. It is to represent the healing power of God through the blood of Jesus Christ. What a powerful gift! It was not to simply heal but to RESTORE. After a wound is healed there may still be a lingering pain but when something is restored it is often more glorious than when it was damaged.
Secondly, she was given a dagger. This shows me that we are to strike when the enemy draws near. And that when it is time to strike God will use whatever is in our hands. You may not see what is in your hands that is powerful but think of these weapons: money to single mom who needs some extra groceries, prayer with a friend in need, an encouraging word to a neighbor who is hurting, a blanket to a cold orphan, and the list goes on. My sister, what God has placed in your hands in annointed! It has a mark, a destiny and it will bless! You may not see the outcome with physical eyes but God will bring it about in his timing. you have to listen to the voice of God, when he calls you to fight you will be armed and dangerous. Sometimes our weapons are unexpected but they are none-the-less powerful!
you might ask the question why not the gift of the mighty sword and sheild so that we can ride into battle and defend the King in love... I only ask this: Is it more noble to wound and kill or to bring heling and strength to the army?
One final thought: Susan's gifts were both for seeing with spiritual eyes. We see spiritually where our arrows are to go and we see the spiritaul attack of Satan coming and when to pray. Lucy's gifts were both physical. We must physically reach out to heal those around us. And the dagger represents the actions we take to attack the enemy. I see where God has given all of these gifts to his Daughters and the privilege to use them.
This prayer is from Fight Like a Girl:
Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus and by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Please reveal the importnace of my position. When I look at myself, I don't see it. But when I lift my eyes and look at the desperate need and devastation surrounding me, I long to have my part. I want to prove my love in every way possible. I will not despise the cordial of healing. I eill intercede for life in the face of death. I want to walk in wisdom, intuition, and understanding. I want to enter in the adventure of partnering with You to redee, the attack of the enemy. I will put arrows to the string. I will equip my children and send my prayers heaven ward. I am Your answer to so many problems; open my eyes to see it clearly. AMEN
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Thoughts Late at Night
Okay, so I was up really late the other night and sat down to try to settle some of the thoughts gong through my head. They ranged from the tower of Babel to wedding cakes. Yeah it was LATE!
Chapter 1 - The tower of Babel
I really haven't had the time to dwell on this and study it but I wanted to write it down so that it would stay fresh on my mind. Here is the question though: It is possible that when God scattered the language at the Tower of Babel that He also caused men and women to communicate differently. I mean come on - in the garden of Eden there was a perfect relationship between man and woman. That has to mean that the communication between them was perfect right? And I don't remember anything about communication being said when God caused the man to have to labor all his life and the woman great pain in child birth. Do you? This is why I want to go back and look into a little deeper. I just couldn't find my bible at 12:30 last night and my husband was asleep with the kids which meant I couldn't get online to BibleGateway.com either. So that study will have to come later.
Feb. 12. 08
Okay So i did go look all of it up and studied it a little more. This is what I have come to discover: when Adam and Eve fell God placed Adam over Eve. Not in a "position" to say that man was better than women. It was a wives be submissive to your husbands and husbands love your wives the way Christ loved the church kind of way. Spiritually they were on the same level but this still had to play a psycological part in their communication. However, the Tower of Babel is the first instance where God seperated language. I still believe He was speaking to the division of man and woman here as well. And when we look at it that way there is something else we have to consider.
If man and women will try to work together and listen to each other "there is nothing we can not accomplish". Afterall, that is why God split the language anyway. Right? So the lesson is this: Women and men may speak the same langugae but we speak differently. Lets come together knowing this and let God be the interpreter. Men - you can't just talk to your wife like you do your buddies. Women - men sometimes don't want to know if your shoes match your bag. And on a serious level - You have to let God show you the heart of your spouse and reveal their language to you.
Chapter 2 - Weaknesses and Strengths
I was praying last night for my marriage and God spoke this phrase into my heart:
Chapter 1 - The tower of Babel
I really haven't had the time to dwell on this and study it but I wanted to write it down so that it would stay fresh on my mind. Here is the question though: It is possible that when God scattered the language at the Tower of Babel that He also caused men and women to communicate differently. I mean come on - in the garden of Eden there was a perfect relationship between man and woman. That has to mean that the communication between them was perfect right? And I don't remember anything about communication being said when God caused the man to have to labor all his life and the woman great pain in child birth. Do you? This is why I want to go back and look into a little deeper. I just couldn't find my bible at 12:30 last night and my husband was asleep with the kids which meant I couldn't get online to BibleGateway.com either. So that study will have to come later.
Feb. 12. 08
Okay So i did go look all of it up and studied it a little more. This is what I have come to discover: when Adam and Eve fell God placed Adam over Eve. Not in a "position" to say that man was better than women. It was a wives be submissive to your husbands and husbands love your wives the way Christ loved the church kind of way. Spiritually they were on the same level but this still had to play a psycological part in their communication. However, the Tower of Babel is the first instance where God seperated language. I still believe He was speaking to the division of man and woman here as well. And when we look at it that way there is something else we have to consider.
If man and women will try to work together and listen to each other "there is nothing we can not accomplish". Afterall, that is why God split the language anyway. Right? So the lesson is this: Women and men may speak the same langugae but we speak differently. Lets come together knowing this and let God be the interpreter. Men - you can't just talk to your wife like you do your buddies. Women - men sometimes don't want to know if your shoes match your bag. And on a serious level - You have to let God show you the heart of your spouse and reveal their language to you.
Chapter 2 - Weaknesses and Strengths
I was praying last night for my marriage and God spoke this phrase into my heart:
Without confessed weakness in one there can not be a glorified strength in another.
Okay, pause for a minute let that settle into your spirit - Good huh? ya know, it really applies to any relationship. In our relationship with God He cannot move in His strengths until we confess our weaknesses to Him. you know all the scriptures: "Come to me you broken hearted I will give you rest." "Ask and you shall receive" "God gives grace to the humble" yadda yadda... In our marriages the woman can not expect her husband to fill a void and show his strength if is she herself is trying to fill the void to prove that she is good enough for him to love.
We need to take back our weaknesses from the enemy and claim them as our own. When we can do that and give them back to God we are reclaiming them for His glory. Too often the enemy uses our weaknesses to say something like this: "You're not good enough to be loved. Do you see everything that is wrong with you? How can you except anybody to love all that?" Well, it is time to declare our weaknesses as such and hand them over to God. Only God can make beauty from ashes and gladness from mouring and strength from fear. Maybe the conversation should be more like this: "Yeah Satan those are my weakness. Now I demand you GIVE THEM BACK TO ME. Ya wanna know why? cause my God - Ya know the creator of heaven and earth - He created me with those weaknesses. And when I am done here I am going to put them in HIs hands and watch and see how His glory is going to be revealed."
Like I said before this also works in other relationships too. Think about that friend that always seems to cheer you up when you are down and who is there for you whenever you feel alone. Thank them today for being that friend (Thanks Jerri, Sharon, and Emilie to name a few of mine own.) When we admit that we have a weakness in one area it gives someone else a chance to shine. It gives God a chance to show His glory.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Fight Like a Girl - Ch. 1
Okay so after watching the first session of the Fight Like a Girl (hereafter called FLAG) I was stuck with one thought. We are made in the image of Christ - a reflection of sorts.
I have not been able to get that out of my head. (We met monday and it is Wed.) While you are looking into a mirror you are seeing a reflection of yourself. That reflection can not make individual movement or process thought on its own. We are to be the reflection of Christ. However, we are able to move outside what God does and speak things that God does not directly speak to us. We ARE to be a reflection of his love to the world.
My first though on Monday night was how we are to only speak the words he puts in our mouths and make the movements He has spoken into our lives. I also thought about the times where God has given me a Word to me or to somebody else and I try to figure out by myself. That always ends up pretty bad. I don't that to ever happen again. I want people to see beyond me and to see Jesus through me.
I was thining about this whole image reflection thing in the car again today and I asked what do people need to see when they look at me as Your reflection. And the answer was simply this:
I have not been able to get that out of my head. (We met monday and it is Wed.) While you are looking into a mirror you are seeing a reflection of yourself. That reflection can not make individual movement or process thought on its own. We are to be the reflection of Christ. However, we are able to move outside what God does and speak things that God does not directly speak to us. We ARE to be a reflection of his love to the world.
My first though on Monday night was how we are to only speak the words he puts in our mouths and make the movements He has spoken into our lives. I also thought about the times where God has given me a Word to me or to somebody else and I try to figure out by myself. That always ends up pretty bad. I don't that to ever happen again. I want people to see beyond me and to see Jesus through me.
I was thining about this whole image reflection thing in the car again today and I asked what do people need to see when they look at me as Your reflection. And the answer was simply this:
There is life through death.
I got to thinking about that and I saw a picture of my life reflecting the cross. But not in a sad way in a way that showed the world that you can't truly live until you have died to yourself. There are so many levels to that answer. I know I haven't grasped the fullness of it yet, but I am listening to may He may continue to speak to me.
I pray that the next few weeks of the FLaG LifeGroup bring lots more to my life.
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