Making Me a Jewel

God has created me to be a jewel, but first there has to be a process of refining. I am an unrefined jewel in the hand of God. Only the master jeweler can see the end setting and how I will adorn him.

(Quote from Fight like a Girl)
The stone you hold is the same chemical and molecular compound as an amethyst gemstone, but it differs vastly in value. This one cannot be set as jewelry, for it has no edges, facets, or fire. It is not unlike my children. There are those who go through the same process over and over again, until all their edges are dulled by the repeated experience. I love them and they are Mine, but how I long to recapture their fire, to give them facets, clean lines, and the beauty of captured light.

The stone referred to above had been processed for many weeks in a polisher. The only difference between that stone and an amethyst set in jewelry was the method of preparation. One stone chose the repeated processes of life, and the other chose to be refined by the fires.

When God speaks to you about an area of your life you have the same choice. You can chose to only allow him access to the rock-polisher dynamic that deals with the surface. You can also chose to completely surrender and give him full access to the heart and allow Him to place you in His almighty furnace. (Isaiah 48:10) I know the furnace hurts. But everything of beauty in this world is birthed through the process of fire. Simply put it is the fire that makes us pure.

It is the process of going through the fire and letting the master jeweler chisel and refine that reveals the true beauty and sets the stone in a valuable mounting.

The end result of the stone doesn’t have to be perfect, for is it the differences and the uniqueness of the jewelry that is adored.

Have you been shorting yourself of beautiful long-term gems because you were afraid of the process it was going to take to get them? Maybe you have simply endured the process and complained the whole way not granting access past the surface.

Heb 12:2 says “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” In our trials, no matter their size, it is crucial to allow the Joy of the Lord to be set before us. This joy is so amazing that it allowed Jesus to endure the pain and suffering of the cross. How much more can we focus on it and let it lead us through.

---Now it gets personal ----

Looking back in my life I can see the places where I haven’t allowed God to go any further than skin deep. All I have to account for those trials are a few polished rocks. Maybe I learned a thing or two but I didn’t allow God to dwell further than the surface. I will never get those times back. There is nothing I can do to change that. God forgive me! May my children forgive me. Complaining kept me from the beauty God was trying to reveal. May I always see the joy set before me and chose to endure the fire knowing that I emerge a beautiful valued gem. God forgive me for complaining and only letting the world see the trials and the hardship that I was having to endure instead of showing them that you are a mighty God and your blessings of life. Even now I see that you are not done with me. You have created me to be a unique a wonderfully made piece of jewelry special to you. You wear me on your robe with satisfaction and love seeing in me the completion of you Glory. I see you even now taking me your pendent off you robe dusting me off and saying, "Daughter you are beautiful." Showing me to Jesus and pointing to speacial gem in my pendent saying," hey you remember this one, we really had to work for a while on this one, but isn't it beautiful." Carefully you place me back on your robe waiting for the opportunity to add to me and make me more spectactular, displaying your glory.

Motherhood

To those who have encouraged me since my last blog - thank you so very much. It is nice to hear an encouraging word. Sometimes I feel like all I hear from people around me is what I am doing wrong, so to read those words that I am not a failure and that other moms have struggled with the same things that I do, is truly a blessing.

I know that I am not perfect but I do try. I know my boys know they are loved. I am blessed to be able to stay home and work (and make good money doing it) and still play with them everyday and hold them when they want me to.

So thanks again for the encouraging words.

Worst Mom Award Winner

Okay, so kids should come with personalized handbooks. For example, one section should be on basic learning skills. Here is an example entry (I wish I had) I am right handed. I am a visual learner. I should know my basic colors and shapes by my thrid birthday. You can get me to potty train by... (still havn't figured that one out yet.)

So ywah right now I am a litle frustrated. Found out today that my almost four year old should be able to identify basic colors shapes and write most letters including his name. He does none of this. He can't even copy a circle. So whose fault is that? mine! All mine! Great now I have to play cacth up! I am just super frustrated. I can't even get him to potty on the toilet. How the heck am I supposed to get him to write his name????? What the blankity am I supposed to do now?

I know there are worse things to complain about but his is my little world and I am having a meltdown. I will be better later. I just want to cry right now. I am feeling quite overwhelmed and like I don't know when or where to start.

Help me lord!

Does God REALLY Exsist?

This is really cool! I found it on a another myspacer's blog. Read it now!

The professor of a university challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"

A student answered bravely, "Yes, he did."The professor then asked, "If God created everything, then he created evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our own actions), so God is evil. The student couldn't respond to that statement causing the professor to conclude that he had "proved" that "belief in God" was a fairy tale, and therefore worthless.

The young student stood up and asked the professor, "May I pose a question?" "Of course" answered the professor. The young student stood up and asked: "Professor does Cold exist?"The professor answered, "What kind of question is that?...Of course the cold exists...haven't you ever been cold?"The young student answered, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of Physics, what we consider cold, in fact is the absence of heat. Anything is able to be studied as long as it tranmits energy (heat). Absolute zero is the total absence of heat, but cold does not exist. What we have done is create a term to describe how we feel if we don't have body heat or we are not hot."

"And, does Dark exist?", he continued. The professor answered "of course". This time the student responded, "Again you're wrong Sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in fact simply the absence of light. Light can be studied, darkness can not. Darkness cannot be broken down. A simple ray of light tears the darkness and illuminates the surface where the light beam finishes. Dark is a term that we humans have created to describe what happens when there's lack of light"

Finally, the student asked the professor, "Sir does evil exist?" The professor replied, "Of course it exists, as I mentioned at the beginning, we see violations, crimes, and violence everywhere in the world, and those things are evil."The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist. Just as in the previous cases, Evil is a term which man has created to describe the result of the absence of God's presence in the hearts of man."After this, the professor bowed his head and didn't answer back.

The young man's name was Albert Einstein!!!

Wisdom, Grace, and the the Fear of the Lord

I want to be a wise woman. So what is wisdom? The bible says that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. So I have to first have a holy Fear of the Lord then I can get wisdom. So what is the fear of the lord and do I personally fear the lord?

I thought I did but then this thought hit me "Do I fear the Lord, or do I just fear what could happen if godly men in my life found out what I am doing wrong?" What a question! I have always compared the Fear of the Lord to the Fear of Chuck (that's my daddy). Fear means "being afraid" right? I think growing up I became fearful of my Dad because of what happened when I messed up. He trained me to know that when I went against his word that there was a price to pay. It usually meant pain (especially in the rear area). There were consequences to my actions. As I learned this I began to realize that no matter what I did, daddy still loved me. Then I began to truly fear him because I was in awe of his grace. I understood that as his daughter I either brought him glory and honor or disgrace and dishonor. I wanted to honor my father. I wanted teachers, friends, and family to look at him and honor him simply because that is what he deserved. I began to fear bringing him dishonor, shame, and anything besides honor. I believe that this is where I began to fear him in the best way. I stood in awe of him. He had the right to shun me and disown me when I messed up, but he didn't. He still loved me.
Because he still loved me when I went wrong I began to love him more. I wanted to please him. Let's talk literally. He and mom have a meeting to go to and leave me at home I can either wait until he gets home and tells me to do the dishes before I go to bed or I can do them before he gets home. Both make him happy but the second pleases him. When he gets home and the dishes are already done then we can sit down together and love on each other before bed. This brings him honor. His daughter knew him enough to perform a simple act before he asked. What if someone came home with him? Then that person was witness to my love for dad. Why did washing the dishes show my daddy that I loved him? Because, my daddy liked a clean house and I wanted to make him happy.

How does that translate into the Fear of the Lord? I think fear comes in steps. First you have to understand what happens when go against the word of the authority. Second, you realize that the consequences you receive or not because the authority wants to hurt but to teach you a lesson because they love you. Third, you want to return your love to that authority and bring them honor. You still fear what could happen but you know that the consequences of your actions come from love.

So the Fear of the Lord means that I simply love what He loves and I hate what He hates. It means that I want to learn what to do to bring him honor and what to stay away from that brings him dishonor. It means that I love my king and will stand for his honor. The fear of the lord is not something that makes me tremble and shake and cower, but something that makes me stand up straight and bow before my king who loves me so! Literally, the fear of the lord in my life means that I want to have a clean house, I want my children to behave, I want my words to be words of healing not of death, I want to worship him every chance that I get, and ultimately that nothing is about me it is all about Him.

How does this connect to grace? Let me explain.

What is grace? Grace is not the right to do what ever the want. Grace is a manifestation of favor, favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity, an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied, or the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. Grace is given freely, for no reason at all. Grace was given to us at the cross. I like the one about the debt. As humans we have a sin debt, but that debt was paid long ago on a wooden cross drenched with blood. And it was done BEFORE Satan could bring suit against us demanding our life. WOW! That is grace!
But people don't understand this all the time. As humans sometimes we think, "Well, I am walking under grace so I can do whatever I want." The fear of the lord is the counterbalance to this belief. Standing in the fear of Lord I answer to that thought, "I could do what I wanted to but I remember the cross, I remember the debt that I owed and I want to make the person that paid that debt happy because I love Him." Grace does allow us freedom but when we are walking in the Fear of the Lord it becomes freedom to do what is right, freedom to worship, freedom from lies and deception of Satan.

Lord, I want wisdom. I want to walk in the Fear of You and Your grace. Help me see where I do not fear You. I want to bring YOU honor. For no one else deserves my love more than you. You are number one in my life. Thank you for paying the debt that I owed before I even knew the debt. Thank you for loving me even when I bring you dishonor and shame. I can not say enough that I love you! Help seek knowledge and gain wisdom. I ask for your wisdom even now. I call wisdom my sister. Let me ears be ready to hear your words and may my heart be soft enough for you to write your words upon it. I love you and may my day bring you honor and glory. In Jesus name! Amen!

Jennifer The Sparkplug

Okay so God spoke into my life that I am to be a spark plug. I have no idea what a sparkplug does or how it works. So I googled it. This is what I found and how it applies to me:

"The spark plug's location exposes it to extreme temperature variations, chemicals, fuels and oils. It is also attacked by cylinder pressures produced by the piston as well as cam timing, then it is also assaulted by high-output ignition units. As a result of all of this, one can effectively learn what the engine is doing by reading the firing end of the spark plugs."
So God has put me in a place of exposure. (thanks?) So does exposure translate into vulnerable or influence? Lets see: exposure also means contact, revelation, or uncovering. So I think this is a place of influence. This also says that I am in a place where I am going to have to constantly fight "extreme temperature variations". This just confirms what God has been speaking to me about struggling with two extremes in my life – prde and depression. (These are so opposite ends of the spectrum). I am also going to have to fight pressure and timing. So I see now that I can't give into the pressure of people around me and that I have to rely on God's timing. I want people to be able to "learn what the engine is doing by reading the firing end of the spark plugs" My engine being God.

" The basics of a spark plug is that it must perform two primary functions. 1. To Ignite the Air/Fuel mixture 2. To REMOVE the heat out of the combustion chamber "
So I am supposed to mix two thing that normally don't mix and I am supposed to remove heat. Both of these remind me of a word I got at a dance conference. The couple told me that God had created me to bring together opposites. Like tradition and new things; old generations with new ones. The women had heard me talk about how I would take a dress and cut it up the sides and wear them with pants so that I was fully covered yet able to move and look good. This was bringing tradition and new together. They also spoke about how God was going to use my creativity to do this. That I was going to have creative solutions to problems.

"Spark plugs transmit electrical energy that turns fuel into working energy. A sufficient amount of voltage must be supplied by the ignition system to cause the spark to jump the across the spark plug gap, thus creating what is called Electrical Performance."
So I am supposed to transmit the joy that God has given me to other people. I also have to be close enough to whoever I am supposed to touch so that the spark can jump across the gap.

"Additionally, the temperature of the spark plug's firing end must be kept low enough to prevent pre-ignition, but high enough to prevent fouling. This is called Thermal Performance and is determined by the heat range of the spark plug."
Okay WOW WOW WOW. God has been speaking into my life about pride and depression. This just shows that the heat of pride is too high and the low of depression is too low. I have to rely on the heat of GOD to be just right for what ever he has planned for me to do.

It is important to understand that spark plugs CANNOT create heat, only remove it! The spark plug works as a heat exchanger, pulling unwanted thermal energy away from the combustion chamber and transferring the heat to the engine's cooling system. The heat range is defined as a plug's ability to dissipate heat.
I am not supposed to bring problems into the situation, I am supposed to remove the problem and bring a solution. I am not a problem I am an answer. I am supposed to pull away the heat and give it to god to cool it back down.

So this is just the first part of the page I was looking at. I am going to return to the page another day and finish going through it. Right now I have to go eat lunch with my wonderful amazing husband.

One more quick thought: Sparkplugs don't create a continual bridge. They "fire" that means that God has created me to bring solutions or sparks in people at certain times. To encourage at certain times.

Lord, thank you for speaking into my life so much right now. I am so very thankful that you are near to be to be able to speak thses things. Thank you for creating me to be a women that is a sparkplug. Thank you for restoring my destiny and not letting the enemy steal it away from me. Help me take what you have shown me to heart and use it in a practical way for others to see. Helo me to see your timing and how I am supposed to touch those around me.

Just me

Lord, you have created me to be a noble daughter of the most high God. I have things in my life that arent perfect. I have been thinking about a few of these lately. I feel like there is so much building up inside me and there is no release for it. Today you told me to be faithful in the small things that you have given me and you will provide the increase. SO that is what I want ot do. I am a woman of strategy. Help me see your strategies, becuase if I try to do them within myself they are going to fail.
One area I want to see changed is the level of my voice when I talk to the boys. I want to know the power of a whisper. Help me learn to speak to them in a language that they will understand. I don't like hollering at them. Show me how to train them to hear my soft whisper. I want to teach them to respond the quietest of my tone so that later they always be able to hear you when you speak no matter the noise around them. Yet give me the balance to know between influence and discipline. Help me see my children as gifts. help me steward these gifts well and with excellence.
Also, at home help me train myself to keep a clean house. I want Dusty to be proud of the home he has provided me. Help me speak his lanugage of love so that he may be honored. I want to see my children and my husband honored before the gates of the city. Show me how to bring them that honor. Help me be a guardian for my home.
I also ask for you to show me the balance of worker, mommy, and wife. In all honesty it is easy to be worker, but mommy and wife are a little harder for me. Bring balance into my life in these areas. shoe me the strategies I need for these things to compliment each other and not fight against each other. I can do all of these together and be blessed.
Lord, shoe me how to bring balance in my life. Show me the strategies I need to put into action so that I may live anexcelling life. Help me train up my children to respond to the quieteness of a whisper. Lord, bring honor to husband at the city gates. May I always remember that Jesus Christ freely gave his life so that I may become a noble daughter of God entitled to living an excelling life. In Jesus name, for your glory and honor, amen.