I was listening to one of my favorite radio stations the other day when a mom shared this thoughtful story. Her two year old son wa acting up and was getting into everything. She was busy tring to get things done. So she took the toddler and put him in a highchair. Of course he was not happy about his circumstances and began to throw a fit. After a few moments, he stopped mid-cry placed his hands on top of the tray, looked at his mom and calmly said, "Since I have to be here, can I at least have a cookie."
It is a funny story, but it also got me to thinking. Ya know sometimes we find ourselves in situations that we are not happy with. Most of the time we have caused ourselves to be where we are. We can either sit down and throw a fit hoping that someone will hear us and do something for us, or we can stop long enough to ask for a cookie.
Our cookies are the small things that we have to be thankful for. For example, our children (however cranky they may be) or our house (no matter how much you have to clean it) our new roof (even though there are still shingles on the ground that haven't been picked up yet). "In everything give thanks." I am truly thankful for all my cookies.
This world is hurting and needs to see Jesus. So quit throwing your fit, find your cookie, and maybe even share it with a friend.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Happy Independence Day
So, here it is a day before the 4th of July and a company I do business with made a montage for the 4th of July and sent it out. I am listening to the age old song "God bless the USA" also called "Proud to be an American" crying my eyes out. Mark it down for pregnancy harmones but there is so much I am thinking right now - that's why I am writing becuase my heart is overflowing and I need to let it all out.
First, there are so many many things that I am thankful for. God I thank you for my children. Even when they act like me and it gets on my nerves. Thank you that they are free! Thank you for my husband that loves someone else more than me - and that the someone is you. So many women don't have the peaceful home that I have. Thank you so very much. I know that my flesh doesn't deserve any of this but becuase you love me you gave it all to me. Thank you! Thank you for my extended family both physical and spiritual. So many times in my life I couldn't get through today without their help. Thank you that I have ears to hear the sounds around me and sight to see your many glories. Thank you for my tomorrows and my yesterdays.
Lord, my heart goes out to the families of the men and women who are defending this country right now. Warm their hearts with the love and peace only you can give. Thank you for the many sons and daughters that are overseas for a country that can't even agree on if they should be there or not. Lord, for those men and women that are serving right now - I pray you will cover them with such love and peace they know that it came directly from heaven above.
You want it is like to give a son to ungrateful people. Let an ungrateful America see that men and women are serving right now and losing their lives that they are serving for even them.
First, there are so many many things that I am thankful for. God I thank you for my children. Even when they act like me and it gets on my nerves. Thank you that they are free! Thank you for my husband that loves someone else more than me - and that the someone is you. So many women don't have the peaceful home that I have. Thank you so very much. I know that my flesh doesn't deserve any of this but becuase you love me you gave it all to me. Thank you! Thank you for my extended family both physical and spiritual. So many times in my life I couldn't get through today without their help. Thank you that I have ears to hear the sounds around me and sight to see your many glories. Thank you for my tomorrows and my yesterdays.
Lord, my heart goes out to the families of the men and women who are defending this country right now. Warm their hearts with the love and peace only you can give. Thank you for the many sons and daughters that are overseas for a country that can't even agree on if they should be there or not. Lord, for those men and women that are serving right now - I pray you will cover them with such love and peace they know that it came directly from heaven above.
You want it is like to give a son to ungrateful people. Let an ungrateful America see that men and women are serving right now and losing their lives that they are serving for even them.
Monday, May 12, 2008
What's in a Name
God has so many names! There is a song out by a not-so-well-known artist that just brings all of this into one song. It is incredible. I truly believe that there is a almighty power that is called forth by calling God his full name(s). It is like being in a room full of people and you are callling your children but without response, but then you add that middle name and they immediately turn around.
The next time you need that peace that passes all human understanding try calling out to Jehovah Shalom - The Lord is my Peace! I can't really explain it in words. It is just more powerful!
Oh by the way the song I am talking about is "I love to say Your name" by John Waller.
There is so much power in the names of God. I have already posted one blog about my Jehovah Nissi. I am working on one about My Jehovah Rapha - The Lord my Healer. I am not posting it yet because I am not happy with the structure of it yet. I hope to post it soon.
The next time you need that peace that passes all human understanding try calling out to Jehovah Shalom - The Lord is my Peace! I can't really explain it in words. It is just more powerful!
Oh by the way the song I am talking about is "I love to say Your name" by John Waller.
There is so much power in the names of God. I have already posted one blog about my Jehovah Nissi. I am working on one about My Jehovah Rapha - The Lord my Healer. I am not posting it yet because I am not happy with the structure of it yet. I hope to post it soon.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Jer 29:11 - In a New Light
11 For I know the plans I have for you,
declares the LORD, plans for welfare (peace) and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope.
You this is a scripture that I have heard all my life to encourage me through a rough time, to lift me up when I was dicouraged, or just to help me through a velly season. But last night as I was praying for a friend I realized something. This was spoken from the heart of God to me, and in the same way my husband, my children, and my friends should know that I feel the same way about them.
I want my husband to let me know that even when we disagree, or he feels differently about something than I do, that his plans for me are for peace and hope. He should feel the same way about me. My everyday actions should let him know that I want our future to be happy. That if I confront him about something that it is becuase I want our future to be better.
My children should see that even when I have to discipline them that it is becuase I love them and it is going to make the future more peaceful.
All in all, it goes along with doing everything in love. Maybe it is just seeing it in a diiferent light. It makes me examine my motives and actions more closely.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Who is God? My Jehovah Nissi
Recently, during worship God simply asked me who he was to me and I heard the question, "How can you worship someone without knowing who they are?" So I began going through the small list of names of God that I knew and what they meant to me. So now I am going to go through and spend a little time on each one of them as I am led and dig a little deeper into what they mean and the scriptures attached to the name.
My favorite is Jehovah Nissi. It simply means The Lord Our Banner.
The only reference to this is in Exodus 17:15. Moses had sent Joshua to war with Amalek. Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up on the mountain overlooking the battlefield. If Moses' hands were up the army was winning, if not they were losing. So Aaron and Hur stood on either side and held up his hands for him. After the batlle was won Moses built an alter to The Lord Our Banner.
I find it strange that this is the only place where it is mentioned. However you can find many references to banners in battle. The banner is what identified your family, your army, whatever group you were in. The people carrying the banner were the first ones to the battle field.
Pslams 60:4 says: Then you planted a flag to rally your people, an unfurled flag to look to for courage. (the message) Other versions say a banner.
Song of Soloman 2:4 says: He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
Whenever I think of God being my Jehovah Nissi I see a majestic banner that goes before me into battle and everyday life. This banner is so majestic that it alone demands respect. The enemy fears this banner because it is a banner that never falls during battle. I see Aslan from the movie standing on the rock with a majestic beautiful flowing banner behind him.
The banner over each and every one of us is LOVE. He loves us more than we will ever be able to grasp. He stands over us even when we battle. All we have to do is look to him in that battle and He will give us courage.
My favorite is Jehovah Nissi. It simply means The Lord Our Banner.
The only reference to this is in Exodus 17:15. Moses had sent Joshua to war with Amalek. Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up on the mountain overlooking the battlefield. If Moses' hands were up the army was winning, if not they were losing. So Aaron and Hur stood on either side and held up his hands for him. After the batlle was won Moses built an alter to The Lord Our Banner.
I find it strange that this is the only place where it is mentioned. However you can find many references to banners in battle. The banner is what identified your family, your army, whatever group you were in. The people carrying the banner were the first ones to the battle field.
Pslams 60:4 says: Then you planted a flag to rally your people, an unfurled flag to look to for courage. (the message) Other versions say a banner.
Song of Soloman 2:4 says: He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
Whenever I think of God being my Jehovah Nissi I see a majestic banner that goes before me into battle and everyday life. This banner is so majestic that it alone demands respect. The enemy fears this banner because it is a banner that never falls during battle. I see Aslan from the movie standing on the rock with a majestic beautiful flowing banner behind him.
The banner over each and every one of us is LOVE. He loves us more than we will ever be able to grasp. He stands over us even when we battle. All we have to do is look to him in that battle and He will give us courage.
Monday, March 31, 2008
pink impact 08
The drums and the heartbeat of God
During worship one session, God told me, “Listen to the drums.” I don’t even know what song was being sung but the drums were strong and resonated in my chest. I could get pass the strong deep base drum. Then he said, “That’s my heartbeat.” All weekend during worship I kept hearing the drums and found myself sitting down closing my eyes and focusing just on the driving force of the drums. I was also driven to listen to the song “little Drummer Boy.” I couldn’t shake the feeling. I tried to go into the bathroom and listen to it but I couldn’t focus on the song because of too many distractions. Later that night I got to sit down and listen to the song. So far I have gotten that God wants me to walk to a different beat and he doesn’t want me to just hear it, he wants me to feel the heartbeat of God and be able to respond to it in an instant. The beat is strong and deep and is a driving force. But, it is not a beat that I am creating, I am only following it.
The beat is the heartbeat of God. I just have to be close enough to feel it. I pictured the scene in Dirty Dancing where he and Babe are starting to practice and she has her hand on his chest on his hand on hers tapping the rhythm of the song on her hand with his fingers. Then when she gets the rhythm they start dancing. But instead God was standing behind me with his arms around me. My hand was on my chest over my heart on his hand was covering mine. I could feel his chest pressed close to my back and could feel his pulse. He was tapping his fingers against my hand wanting my heartbeat to match his. Of course God is no human – so it was not just a steady pulse. It was more like the beat of a drum in a song.
(These are the notes I made in the hotel that night as I listened to “The little drummer boy” over and over.) Heartbeat, God wants me to feel, know, and even anticipate His heartbeat. Like a drum it can change timing, rhythm, and intensity at any moment. It fills the music around it. It supports the music, the song, the lyrics. Without it the music sounds empty or even lifeless. The drums are the heartbeat of the song. The drums often drive the dance. Drummers are different. Drummers must be in sync with each other. There is a team. I must surround myself with other drummers, others of a different breed. We flow with each other knowing when it is our turn as lead and when we support.
· All of this must be done to bring Him honor
· I have to come. Move. Let’s roll!
· I can’t let the “finest gifts” of the “other kings” intimidate me
· Drummers have a different language
· I have no gift that I THINK is honorable enough
· God will bless what is in my hand – I have so much more than I can see with my physical eyes
· Mary nodded – I have permission
· When I play “my drum” praise will be lifted to honor the king
· I WILL play my best for Him – that is what I have been called to do. He is always listening to me
· I already have a smile from him
Me in a box
God also showed me something about myself this weekend. Growing up I was always taught not to put God in a box. Well, I haven’t. I know God is big enough to do anything. He can heal, he will provide, he is I AM. BUT – I have put myself in a box. I have told God, “Yeah you are big enough to do whatever you want. There is nothing you can’t do. But not using me. I am always just going to be here and I am not big enough to really change the world. Yeah, I can impact a few close friends but I am not going to be doing anything much bigger than I am right now.” I have put myself in a box. Not expecting to ever get out.
Something bigger than me
That same night God birthed something in my spirit. I am still not sure what it is. I know it is bigger than anything I have ever expected. The size of what it is going end up as truly scares me. It is bigger than me. I don’t know exactly what it is, but God showed me that I was going to start something very large. Larger than myself. I don’t know what it is or what I should do with this feeling that I have. It is just a God seed right now. I feel a stirring in my spirit though. A feeling that there is a seed of something in my spirit that is powerful, life-changing, and bigger than me. I just get this feeling that I am not going to do it alone but that I am going to spark it off. I am going to have a large part of getting it started but God is going to bring the expansion. It is HUGE! And I have no idea of what “it” is. It is ministry but to who, or how, or why, I don’t know. It will change lives and bring Him honor. I see myself with leaders organizing and putting this together with great anticipation and urgency. But I don’t know what “it” is yet.
It goes back to the heartbeat thing. I feel that the next season in my life is going to be very different than anything I know right now. I have been called to find the heartbeat of God. To feel it, anticipate it, learn it, and then there will come a time when I will be called upon to play and I am going to have to be ready.
While one of the speakers was talking God quicken this in my spirit, “Stop. Drop. Roll.” I asked why. And he simply said, “When on fire – Stop, Drop, Roll.” While I was praying about this, I saw that when I was in the awesome anointing fire of God I needed to stop drop and roll. Stop and be still to hear the voice of God. Drop the things of life that just make us “busy” and notice, really notice what was going on in that moment. Roll with what action I need to take in that very moment.
What does a sparkplug do? It fires. I am God’s sparkplug. There will be divine moments where God cuase me to fire and I must be ready to Stop, drop and roll in that moment. One of those moments God is going to start something that is divine and bigger than myself and it will cause a movement in the body of Christ to bring his bride closer to him. I just have to be ready. That is my only responsibility. Thank you for showing me that God. THANK YOU THANK YOU TAHNK YOU!
During worship one session, God told me, “Listen to the drums.” I don’t even know what song was being sung but the drums were strong and resonated in my chest. I could get pass the strong deep base drum. Then he said, “That’s my heartbeat.” All weekend during worship I kept hearing the drums and found myself sitting down closing my eyes and focusing just on the driving force of the drums. I was also driven to listen to the song “little Drummer Boy.” I couldn’t shake the feeling. I tried to go into the bathroom and listen to it but I couldn’t focus on the song because of too many distractions. Later that night I got to sit down and listen to the song. So far I have gotten that God wants me to walk to a different beat and he doesn’t want me to just hear it, he wants me to feel the heartbeat of God and be able to respond to it in an instant. The beat is strong and deep and is a driving force. But, it is not a beat that I am creating, I am only following it.
The beat is the heartbeat of God. I just have to be close enough to feel it. I pictured the scene in Dirty Dancing where he and Babe are starting to practice and she has her hand on his chest on his hand on hers tapping the rhythm of the song on her hand with his fingers. Then when she gets the rhythm they start dancing. But instead God was standing behind me with his arms around me. My hand was on my chest over my heart on his hand was covering mine. I could feel his chest pressed close to my back and could feel his pulse. He was tapping his fingers against my hand wanting my heartbeat to match his. Of course God is no human – so it was not just a steady pulse. It was more like the beat of a drum in a song.
(These are the notes I made in the hotel that night as I listened to “The little drummer boy” over and over.) Heartbeat, God wants me to feel, know, and even anticipate His heartbeat. Like a drum it can change timing, rhythm, and intensity at any moment. It fills the music around it. It supports the music, the song, the lyrics. Without it the music sounds empty or even lifeless. The drums are the heartbeat of the song. The drums often drive the dance. Drummers are different. Drummers must be in sync with each other. There is a team. I must surround myself with other drummers, others of a different breed. We flow with each other knowing when it is our turn as lead and when we support.
· All of this must be done to bring Him honor
· I have to come. Move. Let’s roll!
· I can’t let the “finest gifts” of the “other kings” intimidate me
· Drummers have a different language
· I have no gift that I THINK is honorable enough
· God will bless what is in my hand – I have so much more than I can see with my physical eyes
· Mary nodded – I have permission
· When I play “my drum” praise will be lifted to honor the king
· I WILL play my best for Him – that is what I have been called to do. He is always listening to me
· I already have a smile from him
Me in a box
God also showed me something about myself this weekend. Growing up I was always taught not to put God in a box. Well, I haven’t. I know God is big enough to do anything. He can heal, he will provide, he is I AM. BUT – I have put myself in a box. I have told God, “Yeah you are big enough to do whatever you want. There is nothing you can’t do. But not using me. I am always just going to be here and I am not big enough to really change the world. Yeah, I can impact a few close friends but I am not going to be doing anything much bigger than I am right now.” I have put myself in a box. Not expecting to ever get out.
Something bigger than me
That same night God birthed something in my spirit. I am still not sure what it is. I know it is bigger than anything I have ever expected. The size of what it is going end up as truly scares me. It is bigger than me. I don’t know exactly what it is, but God showed me that I was going to start something very large. Larger than myself. I don’t know what it is or what I should do with this feeling that I have. It is just a God seed right now. I feel a stirring in my spirit though. A feeling that there is a seed of something in my spirit that is powerful, life-changing, and bigger than me. I just get this feeling that I am not going to do it alone but that I am going to spark it off. I am going to have a large part of getting it started but God is going to bring the expansion. It is HUGE! And I have no idea of what “it” is. It is ministry but to who, or how, or why, I don’t know. It will change lives and bring Him honor. I see myself with leaders organizing and putting this together with great anticipation and urgency. But I don’t know what “it” is yet.
It goes back to the heartbeat thing. I feel that the next season in my life is going to be very different than anything I know right now. I have been called to find the heartbeat of God. To feel it, anticipate it, learn it, and then there will come a time when I will be called upon to play and I am going to have to be ready.
While one of the speakers was talking God quicken this in my spirit, “Stop. Drop. Roll.” I asked why. And he simply said, “When on fire – Stop, Drop, Roll.” While I was praying about this, I saw that when I was in the awesome anointing fire of God I needed to stop drop and roll. Stop and be still to hear the voice of God. Drop the things of life that just make us “busy” and notice, really notice what was going on in that moment. Roll with what action I need to take in that very moment.
What does a sparkplug do? It fires. I am God’s sparkplug. There will be divine moments where God cuase me to fire and I must be ready to Stop, drop and roll in that moment. One of those moments God is going to start something that is divine and bigger than myself and it will cause a movement in the body of Christ to bring his bride closer to him. I just have to be ready. That is my only responsibility. Thank you for showing me that God. THANK YOU THANK YOU TAHNK YOU!
Monday, March 10, 2008
I'M PREGNANT!!!
So, for those who don't know I am pregnant. I wanted to wait until I went to the doctor until I posted anything. God's timing is AWESOME!! Anyway - the doctor did an ultrasound and according to him I am right around 5 weeks. My due date is Nov. 8th. I am really excited! I am REALLY hoping for a girl this time. We haven't fully picked a name or anything yet.
Okay, well I have to go clean now - BOO! But I can use my birthday present. (A shark steam mop) We'll see how good it works.
Okay, well I have to go clean now - BOO! But I can use my birthday present. (A shark steam mop) We'll see how good it works.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Isaiah 43:18-19
Okay, in light of my last post I feel I need to post the answer I have recieved from my Father.
The verse is
18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
This verse has been brought before me several times now from different places. I can fell it's renewing breath wash over me.
Thank you Father!!!
The verse is
18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
This verse has been brought before me several times now from different places. I can fell it's renewing breath wash over me.
Thank you Father!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The Dynamic of Exchange
Wise women know what to hold fast to and what to release. They exchange the things of death for the blessings of life. As I let these words soak into my spirit and write themselves on my heart I lay in bed ready to weap.
I have to say this is going to be a very personal blog that is hard for me to write. I don't want to put these words on "paper" but I know I need to. I am struggling right now to get started and to realese what is in my heart. I want to make this post private and not let anyone read it but then that is not really letting go is it? So... here goes nothing... no not nothing... here goes a release in the spirit.
For a while I have struggled with the fact that I felt like I failed my two boys in their first years. And I failed the very description of being a mom. I resented having them so close (13 months) I thought that the joy of either pregnancy was taken from me. See with Daniel I was in a car wreck during the sixth month. So the rest of the pregnancy was over shadowed with fear and physical pain for while anyway. With Andrew I couldn't focus all of my energy on the joys of being pregnant becuase I was often too sick and still having to give mommy time to Daniel who was only 4 months old when I got pregnant. Then with having two of them in diapers, breast feeding one and bottle feeding the other I didn't force myself to stop and enjoy them. All I look back and see is staying tired and being miserable. I am not supposed to fell that way about the beginning of my children's life. I feel I failed as a mother becuase I can not honestly remeber holding either one of them for the first time. It hurts to listen to women who talk about the connection they instantly made with their baby the first time they looked at each other. I have no memory of either. And that hurts like you can't believe. I will never get back those moments.
So to try to heal myself I convince myself that I could do it better the next time. And the next time should be right away. I tell myself over and over just try again when you have the next baby - which has to be a girl becuase thats what I want. Well, it is just not that easy. People look at me and say I am crazy for wanting another one. While I am silently shouting - BUT IF I DONT HAVE ANOTHER BABY I CAN"T PROOVE THAT I AM NOT A FAILURE! It is not just a want - IT IS A NEED! But my husband (in his words) is "okay with not having another child." I AM NOT OKAY! I feel like I have to proove myself.
So for the past couple of days I have been addressing this in my spirit. I have to be okay with whatever God wants. Me and my husband are to be one. And this is putting a wall between us. (Dusty - if you read this please understand I am not gripping or complaining. I am trying to release this so that I can move past it. Thank you for understanding.) I have to release my desire for another baby. I think well, if i say that I am okay with not ever being pregnant again, then God will hear me and he wants me to be happy and he knows that another baby will make me happy. So basically I never really let go.
I am exchanging the what I see as past failures for God's encouragement that I am a good mother.
I exchange the need of a another child for the deisre to know my husbands heart on a deeper level.
I exchange the void of memories I should have for memories I will make with Daniel and Andrew each and every day.
I have come to realize that even if I have another baby, I will never get back what I feel like I lost with the first two. So now I re;ease all of those feelings and say to the enemy I might not have let God turn me into the the jewel he wanted to create then, but that does not make me a failure I take back my miserable past and give it to the Father that was always there right beside and I will no longer dwell on what I feel that I missed but I will dweel on what I remeber as great. The days I would breastfeed Andrew and rock Daniel with a bottle just praying that we could all sleep just a little. The times I would just watch Andrew and Daniel sleeping. the first time Daniel ate a pickle. how Andrew would cry until we set him in his walker and Uncle Daryl would give him a graham cracker to chew on until it was so slobbery he couldn't hold on to it. The day Daniel stood in the chair above Andrew on the floor and was eating a cookie spilling the crumbs on Andrew and Andrew would pick up the smaller pieces and eat them. How much fun they had in GoGo's pool. I cling to those memories, never to let go of them.
Lord, you know there will always be a severt place in my heart that wants a baby girl. But now I can say that it is not becuase I want to proove that I can do it, It is becuase I want to bring a lovely mighty daughter of God into this world and teach her how to fight like a girl. I know I have a connection to my boys but i know there is a different sort of connection with a little girl. Lord, I may not really mean it right this moment but I will say it until I do mean it. I am okay with not being pregnant again. I feel the release happening in the spirit. I don't have to get pregant to fix my past. The past is gone. Thank you Lord. Thank you for bringing me to this place. Thank you for exchanging the past for the future.
I have to say this is going to be a very personal blog that is hard for me to write. I don't want to put these words on "paper" but I know I need to. I am struggling right now to get started and to realese what is in my heart. I want to make this post private and not let anyone read it but then that is not really letting go is it? So... here goes nothing... no not nothing... here goes a release in the spirit.
For a while I have struggled with the fact that I felt like I failed my two boys in their first years. And I failed the very description of being a mom. I resented having them so close (13 months) I thought that the joy of either pregnancy was taken from me. See with Daniel I was in a car wreck during the sixth month. So the rest of the pregnancy was over shadowed with fear and physical pain for while anyway. With Andrew I couldn't focus all of my energy on the joys of being pregnant becuase I was often too sick and still having to give mommy time to Daniel who was only 4 months old when I got pregnant. Then with having two of them in diapers, breast feeding one and bottle feeding the other I didn't force myself to stop and enjoy them. All I look back and see is staying tired and being miserable. I am not supposed to fell that way about the beginning of my children's life. I feel I failed as a mother becuase I can not honestly remeber holding either one of them for the first time. It hurts to listen to women who talk about the connection they instantly made with their baby the first time they looked at each other. I have no memory of either. And that hurts like you can't believe. I will never get back those moments.
So to try to heal myself I convince myself that I could do it better the next time. And the next time should be right away. I tell myself over and over just try again when you have the next baby - which has to be a girl becuase thats what I want. Well, it is just not that easy. People look at me and say I am crazy for wanting another one. While I am silently shouting - BUT IF I DONT HAVE ANOTHER BABY I CAN"T PROOVE THAT I AM NOT A FAILURE! It is not just a want - IT IS A NEED! But my husband (in his words) is "okay with not having another child." I AM NOT OKAY! I feel like I have to proove myself.
So for the past couple of days I have been addressing this in my spirit. I have to be okay with whatever God wants. Me and my husband are to be one. And this is putting a wall between us. (Dusty - if you read this please understand I am not gripping or complaining. I am trying to release this so that I can move past it. Thank you for understanding.) I have to release my desire for another baby. I think well, if i say that I am okay with not ever being pregnant again, then God will hear me and he wants me to be happy and he knows that another baby will make me happy. So basically I never really let go.
I am exchanging the what I see as past failures for God's encouragement that I am a good mother.
I exchange the need of a another child for the deisre to know my husbands heart on a deeper level.
I exchange the void of memories I should have for memories I will make with Daniel and Andrew each and every day.
I have come to realize that even if I have another baby, I will never get back what I feel like I lost with the first two. So now I re;ease all of those feelings and say to the enemy I might not have let God turn me into the the jewel he wanted to create then, but that does not make me a failure I take back my miserable past and give it to the Father that was always there right beside and I will no longer dwell on what I feel that I missed but I will dweel on what I remeber as great. The days I would breastfeed Andrew and rock Daniel with a bottle just praying that we could all sleep just a little. The times I would just watch Andrew and Daniel sleeping. the first time Daniel ate a pickle. how Andrew would cry until we set him in his walker and Uncle Daryl would give him a graham cracker to chew on until it was so slobbery he couldn't hold on to it. The day Daniel stood in the chair above Andrew on the floor and was eating a cookie spilling the crumbs on Andrew and Andrew would pick up the smaller pieces and eat them. How much fun they had in GoGo's pool. I cling to those memories, never to let go of them.
Lord, you know there will always be a severt place in my heart that wants a baby girl. But now I can say that it is not becuase I want to proove that I can do it, It is becuase I want to bring a lovely mighty daughter of God into this world and teach her how to fight like a girl. I know I have a connection to my boys but i know there is a different sort of connection with a little girl. Lord, I may not really mean it right this moment but I will say it until I do mean it. I am okay with not being pregnant again. I feel the release happening in the spirit. I don't have to get pregant to fix my past. The past is gone. Thank you Lord. Thank you for bringing me to this place. Thank you for exchanging the past for the future.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Gifts from the Father (FLaG Ch.6)
I have learned something from a favorite book of mine and when, why, and how I am to Fight as a Daughter of the most High God. The book is the Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis. If you have never read the book or watched the movie they are both excellent. This revelation came to be through another book I am reading and loving: Fight Like a Girl (FLaG) by Lisa Bevere. (Also a great book for women of all ages!)
Let me recap for you a little:
Narnia is a magical place found by a little girl named Lucy. The world is under the control of evil and it has been winter for years on end. It was proficied that 2 sons of eve and 2 daughters of eve would come and bring spring back to the land. Lucy and her brothers and sister come. At one point they meet Father Christmas, becuase before spring can come fully the life and joy of Christmas must first visit the land again. There is too much spiritually there than I have time and patience to type. The gifts that Father Christmas brings is what I want to focus on right now. Like I said if you haven't watched the movie go rent it TODAY!
From the book;
"Susan, Eve's daughter," said Father Christmas. "These are for you," and he handed a bow and a quiver full of arrows and a little ivory horn. "You must use the bow only in great need," he said"for I do not mean you to fight in the battle. It does not easily miss. And when you put thus horn to your lips and blow it, then wherever you are, I think help of some kind will come to you."
He gave her [Lucy] a little bottle of what looked like glass (but people said afterwards that it was made of diamond) and a small dagger. "In this bottle," he said, "there is a cordial made of the juice of one of the fire-flowers that grow in the mountains of the sun. If you or any of your firends are hurt, a few drops of this will restore you. And the dagger is to defend yourself at great need. For you also are not to be in the battle"
So basically each girl got two gifts. I know that God has given us each of these gifts as well.
The first gift is the gift of bow and a full quiver of arrows. Psalms 127:4 says "like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth." So our children are our arrows. As a mother I am called to position my children and launch them into the future. Just like shooting a physical bow and arrow there is a process to this: you have to draw back steady and slow, center your sights on the target, and release. At this time in my life I know I am in the first step of that process.
Susan's second gift was a horn. Father Christmas told her that in time of need to use this and that help of some kind would show itself. This is our prayers. We have been given a incredible link to the heart of God through prayer. This a weapon of great strength. I believe that sometimes we see things far in the distance that others around may not see. This is when we are called to pray. Prayers are also like arrows because they are both launched into the future. I also want to point out that help of some kind will appear. This means that it is not always the help that we wanted. God will show himself mighty if we jut trust Him.
Now unto Lucy's gifts. First she was given the cordial. In my soul I know this was a deep crimson juice. It is to represent the healing power of God through the blood of Jesus Christ. What a powerful gift! It was not to simply heal but to RESTORE. After a wound is healed there may still be a lingering pain but when something is restored it is often more glorious than when it was damaged.
Secondly, she was given a dagger. This shows me that we are to strike when the enemy draws near. And that when it is time to strike God will use whatever is in our hands. You may not see what is in your hands that is powerful but think of these weapons: money to single mom who needs some extra groceries, prayer with a friend in need, an encouraging word to a neighbor who is hurting, a blanket to a cold orphan, and the list goes on. My sister, what God has placed in your hands in annointed! It has a mark, a destiny and it will bless! You may not see the outcome with physical eyes but God will bring it about in his timing. you have to listen to the voice of God, when he calls you to fight you will be armed and dangerous. Sometimes our weapons are unexpected but they are none-the-less powerful!
you might ask the question why not the gift of the mighty sword and sheild so that we can ride into battle and defend the King in love... I only ask this: Is it more noble to wound and kill or to bring heling and strength to the army?
One final thought: Susan's gifts were both for seeing with spiritual eyes. We see spiritually where our arrows are to go and we see the spiritaul attack of Satan coming and when to pray. Lucy's gifts were both physical. We must physically reach out to heal those around us. And the dagger represents the actions we take to attack the enemy. I see where God has given all of these gifts to his Daughters and the privilege to use them.
This prayer is from Fight Like a Girl:
Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus and by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Please reveal the importnace of my position. When I look at myself, I don't see it. But when I lift my eyes and look at the desperate need and devastation surrounding me, I long to have my part. I want to prove my love in every way possible. I will not despise the cordial of healing. I eill intercede for life in the face of death. I want to walk in wisdom, intuition, and understanding. I want to enter in the adventure of partnering with You to redee, the attack of the enemy. I will put arrows to the string. I will equip my children and send my prayers heaven ward. I am Your answer to so many problems; open my eyes to see it clearly. AMEN
Let me recap for you a little:
Narnia is a magical place found by a little girl named Lucy. The world is under the control of evil and it has been winter for years on end. It was proficied that 2 sons of eve and 2 daughters of eve would come and bring spring back to the land. Lucy and her brothers and sister come. At one point they meet Father Christmas, becuase before spring can come fully the life and joy of Christmas must first visit the land again. There is too much spiritually there than I have time and patience to type. The gifts that Father Christmas brings is what I want to focus on right now. Like I said if you haven't watched the movie go rent it TODAY!
From the book;
"Susan, Eve's daughter," said Father Christmas. "These are for you," and he handed a bow and a quiver full of arrows and a little ivory horn. "You must use the bow only in great need," he said"for I do not mean you to fight in the battle. It does not easily miss. And when you put thus horn to your lips and blow it, then wherever you are, I think help of some kind will come to you."
He gave her [Lucy] a little bottle of what looked like glass (but people said afterwards that it was made of diamond) and a small dagger. "In this bottle," he said, "there is a cordial made of the juice of one of the fire-flowers that grow in the mountains of the sun. If you or any of your firends are hurt, a few drops of this will restore you. And the dagger is to defend yourself at great need. For you also are not to be in the battle"
So basically each girl got two gifts. I know that God has given us each of these gifts as well.
The first gift is the gift of bow and a full quiver of arrows. Psalms 127:4 says "like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth." So our children are our arrows. As a mother I am called to position my children and launch them into the future. Just like shooting a physical bow and arrow there is a process to this: you have to draw back steady and slow, center your sights on the target, and release. At this time in my life I know I am in the first step of that process.
Susan's second gift was a horn. Father Christmas told her that in time of need to use this and that help of some kind would show itself. This is our prayers. We have been given a incredible link to the heart of God through prayer. This a weapon of great strength. I believe that sometimes we see things far in the distance that others around may not see. This is when we are called to pray. Prayers are also like arrows because they are both launched into the future. I also want to point out that help of some kind will appear. This means that it is not always the help that we wanted. God will show himself mighty if we jut trust Him.
Now unto Lucy's gifts. First she was given the cordial. In my soul I know this was a deep crimson juice. It is to represent the healing power of God through the blood of Jesus Christ. What a powerful gift! It was not to simply heal but to RESTORE. After a wound is healed there may still be a lingering pain but when something is restored it is often more glorious than when it was damaged.
Secondly, she was given a dagger. This shows me that we are to strike when the enemy draws near. And that when it is time to strike God will use whatever is in our hands. You may not see what is in your hands that is powerful but think of these weapons: money to single mom who needs some extra groceries, prayer with a friend in need, an encouraging word to a neighbor who is hurting, a blanket to a cold orphan, and the list goes on. My sister, what God has placed in your hands in annointed! It has a mark, a destiny and it will bless! You may not see the outcome with physical eyes but God will bring it about in his timing. you have to listen to the voice of God, when he calls you to fight you will be armed and dangerous. Sometimes our weapons are unexpected but they are none-the-less powerful!
you might ask the question why not the gift of the mighty sword and sheild so that we can ride into battle and defend the King in love... I only ask this: Is it more noble to wound and kill or to bring heling and strength to the army?
One final thought: Susan's gifts were both for seeing with spiritual eyes. We see spiritually where our arrows are to go and we see the spiritaul attack of Satan coming and when to pray. Lucy's gifts were both physical. We must physically reach out to heal those around us. And the dagger represents the actions we take to attack the enemy. I see where God has given all of these gifts to his Daughters and the privilege to use them.
This prayer is from Fight Like a Girl:
Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus and by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Please reveal the importnace of my position. When I look at myself, I don't see it. But when I lift my eyes and look at the desperate need and devastation surrounding me, I long to have my part. I want to prove my love in every way possible. I will not despise the cordial of healing. I eill intercede for life in the face of death. I want to walk in wisdom, intuition, and understanding. I want to enter in the adventure of partnering with You to redee, the attack of the enemy. I will put arrows to the string. I will equip my children and send my prayers heaven ward. I am Your answer to so many problems; open my eyes to see it clearly. AMEN
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Thoughts Late at Night
Okay, so I was up really late the other night and sat down to try to settle some of the thoughts gong through my head. They ranged from the tower of Babel to wedding cakes. Yeah it was LATE!
Chapter 1 - The tower of Babel
I really haven't had the time to dwell on this and study it but I wanted to write it down so that it would stay fresh on my mind. Here is the question though: It is possible that when God scattered the language at the Tower of Babel that He also caused men and women to communicate differently. I mean come on - in the garden of Eden there was a perfect relationship between man and woman. That has to mean that the communication between them was perfect right? And I don't remember anything about communication being said when God caused the man to have to labor all his life and the woman great pain in child birth. Do you? This is why I want to go back and look into a little deeper. I just couldn't find my bible at 12:30 last night and my husband was asleep with the kids which meant I couldn't get online to BibleGateway.com either. So that study will have to come later.
Feb. 12. 08
Okay So i did go look all of it up and studied it a little more. This is what I have come to discover: when Adam and Eve fell God placed Adam over Eve. Not in a "position" to say that man was better than women. It was a wives be submissive to your husbands and husbands love your wives the way Christ loved the church kind of way. Spiritually they were on the same level but this still had to play a psycological part in their communication. However, the Tower of Babel is the first instance where God seperated language. I still believe He was speaking to the division of man and woman here as well. And when we look at it that way there is something else we have to consider.
If man and women will try to work together and listen to each other "there is nothing we can not accomplish". Afterall, that is why God split the language anyway. Right? So the lesson is this: Women and men may speak the same langugae but we speak differently. Lets come together knowing this and let God be the interpreter. Men - you can't just talk to your wife like you do your buddies. Women - men sometimes don't want to know if your shoes match your bag. And on a serious level - You have to let God show you the heart of your spouse and reveal their language to you.
Chapter 2 - Weaknesses and Strengths
I was praying last night for my marriage and God spoke this phrase into my heart:
Chapter 1 - The tower of Babel
I really haven't had the time to dwell on this and study it but I wanted to write it down so that it would stay fresh on my mind. Here is the question though: It is possible that when God scattered the language at the Tower of Babel that He also caused men and women to communicate differently. I mean come on - in the garden of Eden there was a perfect relationship between man and woman. That has to mean that the communication between them was perfect right? And I don't remember anything about communication being said when God caused the man to have to labor all his life and the woman great pain in child birth. Do you? This is why I want to go back and look into a little deeper. I just couldn't find my bible at 12:30 last night and my husband was asleep with the kids which meant I couldn't get online to BibleGateway.com either. So that study will have to come later.
Feb. 12. 08
Okay So i did go look all of it up and studied it a little more. This is what I have come to discover: when Adam and Eve fell God placed Adam over Eve. Not in a "position" to say that man was better than women. It was a wives be submissive to your husbands and husbands love your wives the way Christ loved the church kind of way. Spiritually they were on the same level but this still had to play a psycological part in their communication. However, the Tower of Babel is the first instance where God seperated language. I still believe He was speaking to the division of man and woman here as well. And when we look at it that way there is something else we have to consider.
If man and women will try to work together and listen to each other "there is nothing we can not accomplish". Afterall, that is why God split the language anyway. Right? So the lesson is this: Women and men may speak the same langugae but we speak differently. Lets come together knowing this and let God be the interpreter. Men - you can't just talk to your wife like you do your buddies. Women - men sometimes don't want to know if your shoes match your bag. And on a serious level - You have to let God show you the heart of your spouse and reveal their language to you.
Chapter 2 - Weaknesses and Strengths
I was praying last night for my marriage and God spoke this phrase into my heart:
Without confessed weakness in one there can not be a glorified strength in another.
Okay, pause for a minute let that settle into your spirit - Good huh? ya know, it really applies to any relationship. In our relationship with God He cannot move in His strengths until we confess our weaknesses to Him. you know all the scriptures: "Come to me you broken hearted I will give you rest." "Ask and you shall receive" "God gives grace to the humble" yadda yadda... In our marriages the woman can not expect her husband to fill a void and show his strength if is she herself is trying to fill the void to prove that she is good enough for him to love.
We need to take back our weaknesses from the enemy and claim them as our own. When we can do that and give them back to God we are reclaiming them for His glory. Too often the enemy uses our weaknesses to say something like this: "You're not good enough to be loved. Do you see everything that is wrong with you? How can you except anybody to love all that?" Well, it is time to declare our weaknesses as such and hand them over to God. Only God can make beauty from ashes and gladness from mouring and strength from fear. Maybe the conversation should be more like this: "Yeah Satan those are my weakness. Now I demand you GIVE THEM BACK TO ME. Ya wanna know why? cause my God - Ya know the creator of heaven and earth - He created me with those weaknesses. And when I am done here I am going to put them in HIs hands and watch and see how His glory is going to be revealed."
Like I said before this also works in other relationships too. Think about that friend that always seems to cheer you up when you are down and who is there for you whenever you feel alone. Thank them today for being that friend (Thanks Jerri, Sharon, and Emilie to name a few of mine own.) When we admit that we have a weakness in one area it gives someone else a chance to shine. It gives God a chance to show His glory.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Fight Like a Girl - Ch. 1
Okay so after watching the first session of the Fight Like a Girl (hereafter called FLAG) I was stuck with one thought. We are made in the image of Christ - a reflection of sorts.
I have not been able to get that out of my head. (We met monday and it is Wed.) While you are looking into a mirror you are seeing a reflection of yourself. That reflection can not make individual movement or process thought on its own. We are to be the reflection of Christ. However, we are able to move outside what God does and speak things that God does not directly speak to us. We ARE to be a reflection of his love to the world.
My first though on Monday night was how we are to only speak the words he puts in our mouths and make the movements He has spoken into our lives. I also thought about the times where God has given me a Word to me or to somebody else and I try to figure out by myself. That always ends up pretty bad. I don't that to ever happen again. I want people to see beyond me and to see Jesus through me.
I was thining about this whole image reflection thing in the car again today and I asked what do people need to see when they look at me as Your reflection. And the answer was simply this:
I have not been able to get that out of my head. (We met monday and it is Wed.) While you are looking into a mirror you are seeing a reflection of yourself. That reflection can not make individual movement or process thought on its own. We are to be the reflection of Christ. However, we are able to move outside what God does and speak things that God does not directly speak to us. We ARE to be a reflection of his love to the world.
My first though on Monday night was how we are to only speak the words he puts in our mouths and make the movements He has spoken into our lives. I also thought about the times where God has given me a Word to me or to somebody else and I try to figure out by myself. That always ends up pretty bad. I don't that to ever happen again. I want people to see beyond me and to see Jesus through me.
I was thining about this whole image reflection thing in the car again today and I asked what do people need to see when they look at me as Your reflection. And the answer was simply this:
There is life through death.
I got to thinking about that and I saw a picture of my life reflecting the cross. But not in a sad way in a way that showed the world that you can't truly live until you have died to yourself. There are so many levels to that answer. I know I haven't grasped the fullness of it yet, but I am listening to may He may continue to speak to me.
I pray that the next few weeks of the FLaG LifeGroup bring lots more to my life.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Plastic Fruit (of the Spirit)
Sometime ago while I was praying God spoke these words into my spirit; "Is the fruit plastic?" It immediately struck me as an odd question. Since then I have not been able to get those words out of my head. I can list most of the Fruits of the Spirit but I felt a calling to get deeper into the subject and to put my thoughts in writing.
So what is The Fruit of the Spirit? In Galatians 5:22 it lists the fruit of the spirit. The new King James Version lists them as, "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." The King James Version lists them as, "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance". In the Message it reads like this, "But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely." When we compare all of these different versions I am able to get a better idea of what each of these truly mean.
NKJV – KJV – Message
Love – Love – Affection for others
Joy – Joy – Exuberance about life
Peace – Peace – Serenity
Longsuffering – Longsuffering – A willingness to stick with things
Kindness – Gentleness – Compassion
Goodness – Goodness – A conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people
Faithfulness – Faith – Involved in loyal commitments
Gentleness – Meekness – Not needing to force our way in life
Self-control – Temperance – Able to marshal and direct our energies wisely
So now that we know what they are, now we need to figure out why we need them. Matthew 12:33 says, "a tree is known by it fruits." (NKJV) We are all baring either good fruit or bad fruit. Matthew also says that a good tree can't bear bad fruit nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. So one way or another your fruit speaks about who you are and what your heart is really like. This is where the "plastic" fruit comes in to play.
Everyone has seen the beautifully created plastic fruit at the home décor stores. Although it is beautifully made, if you look at it close enough, or touch it, or maybe even smell it, you can instantly tell the difference. Let's examine the differences between real fruit and plastic fruit.
First, there is the outward appearance. Some of these plastic fruits are created and crafted so well that you can't tell them from real fruit at a distance. Sometimes you even have to touch them to see if they are real or not. How does speak on a spiritual level? Lets talk about joy. You can have joy in a group of people while you are all having fun, but what are feeling when you are alone? Real joy is lasting, it doesn't leave when people leave. Showing joy in front of people just so they won't know your real hurts is putting out the plastic fruit of joy. Fruit that is portrayed just so others will see it is plastic fruit. Let me give you another example. Showing up at an outreach just so other people will see and think better of you is also putting out plastic fruit.
The major differences are seen when the two are cut open. When real fruit is cut open you see the "meat" of the fruit, and usually the seeds. There is substance and nutrients in real fruit. These things may help our muscles develop or help us see better, but they all produce good things in our bodies. Seeds are always present in real fruit. One major purpose for real fruit is for that fruit to reproduce another fruit. In some cases, this is called the heart of the fruit. When you cut open a plastic fruit you usually just get stinky, stagnant air, or you may just get more plastic or styrofoam. This is harmful to ingest, it may even poison the body. Therefore we can say that there is no "heart" in plastic fruit.
Lastly, there is a huge difference in the purposes of displaying plastic fruit and setting out real fruit. Plastic fruit is placed out as a decoration so that someone will see them. This brings glory to the decorator. Real fruit is set out to be eaten and enjoyed. This brings nutrients and good things to those who partake. There is a level of commitment that it takes to replace that fruit everyday. Plastic fruit can be put out once and it lasts forever.
Real fruit is grown in secret everyday growing a little more. It needs sunshine, rain, and sometimes a little manure or fertilizer. Real fruit may take longer to produce, but the outcome is so much more beautiful than plastic fruit.
Everyone around you can see your fruit. Make sure that they can partake of the Real Fruit of the Spirit and not some empty fake. Our fruit is supposed to bring good to others not glory to ourselves. Also, make sure that the fruit that is seen is fresh. Don't display an act of compassion that is years old. Renew your fruit everyday.
As a little sidenote I want to show you this little nugget:
In The Message after it lists the fruits of the spirit it says this: "Legalism is helpless in bringing this about, it only gets in the way." (Galations 5:23-24)
So what is The Fruit of the Spirit? In Galatians 5:22 it lists the fruit of the spirit. The new King James Version lists them as, "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." The King James Version lists them as, "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance". In the Message it reads like this, "But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely." When we compare all of these different versions I am able to get a better idea of what each of these truly mean.
NKJV – KJV – Message
Love – Love – Affection for others
Joy – Joy – Exuberance about life
Peace – Peace – Serenity
Longsuffering – Longsuffering – A willingness to stick with things
Kindness – Gentleness – Compassion
Goodness – Goodness – A conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people
Faithfulness – Faith – Involved in loyal commitments
Gentleness – Meekness – Not needing to force our way in life
Self-control – Temperance – Able to marshal and direct our energies wisely
So now that we know what they are, now we need to figure out why we need them. Matthew 12:33 says, "a tree is known by it fruits." (NKJV) We are all baring either good fruit or bad fruit. Matthew also says that a good tree can't bear bad fruit nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. So one way or another your fruit speaks about who you are and what your heart is really like. This is where the "plastic" fruit comes in to play.
Everyone has seen the beautifully created plastic fruit at the home décor stores. Although it is beautifully made, if you look at it close enough, or touch it, or maybe even smell it, you can instantly tell the difference. Let's examine the differences between real fruit and plastic fruit.
First, there is the outward appearance. Some of these plastic fruits are created and crafted so well that you can't tell them from real fruit at a distance. Sometimes you even have to touch them to see if they are real or not. How does speak on a spiritual level? Lets talk about joy. You can have joy in a group of people while you are all having fun, but what are feeling when you are alone? Real joy is lasting, it doesn't leave when people leave. Showing joy in front of people just so they won't know your real hurts is putting out the plastic fruit of joy. Fruit that is portrayed just so others will see it is plastic fruit. Let me give you another example. Showing up at an outreach just so other people will see and think better of you is also putting out plastic fruit.
The major differences are seen when the two are cut open. When real fruit is cut open you see the "meat" of the fruit, and usually the seeds. There is substance and nutrients in real fruit. These things may help our muscles develop or help us see better, but they all produce good things in our bodies. Seeds are always present in real fruit. One major purpose for real fruit is for that fruit to reproduce another fruit. In some cases, this is called the heart of the fruit. When you cut open a plastic fruit you usually just get stinky, stagnant air, or you may just get more plastic or styrofoam. This is harmful to ingest, it may even poison the body. Therefore we can say that there is no "heart" in plastic fruit.
Lastly, there is a huge difference in the purposes of displaying plastic fruit and setting out real fruit. Plastic fruit is placed out as a decoration so that someone will see them. This brings glory to the decorator. Real fruit is set out to be eaten and enjoyed. This brings nutrients and good things to those who partake. There is a level of commitment that it takes to replace that fruit everyday. Plastic fruit can be put out once and it lasts forever.
Real fruit is grown in secret everyday growing a little more. It needs sunshine, rain, and sometimes a little manure or fertilizer. Real fruit may take longer to produce, but the outcome is so much more beautiful than plastic fruit.
Everyone around you can see your fruit. Make sure that they can partake of the Real Fruit of the Spirit and not some empty fake. Our fruit is supposed to bring good to others not glory to ourselves. Also, make sure that the fruit that is seen is fresh. Don't display an act of compassion that is years old. Renew your fruit everyday.
As a little sidenote I want to show you this little nugget:
In The Message after it lists the fruits of the spirit it says this: "Legalism is helpless in bringing this about, it only gets in the way." (Galations 5:23-24)
Thursday, November 8, 2007
If HIS People....
2 Chronicals 7:14 says: 14 if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
I think in a time when 33 senators can vote against English as an official language for the USA, that a female and a muslim are running for president, the current Christian presidant can't return to office, war is raging with the threat of nuclear bombs, mothers have the "right" to choose life or death for their unborn child, and famine and death reign, IT IS TIME TO PRAY!!
It is TIME!! It is time for those who know they are called by the name of the Almighty, the ruler and creator of this Earth to come together, to collectively cry out to the father in humility. I belive that means saying we don't know how to fix it. It is time to pray, better yet call out to the father from a humble heart fervently praying for our country. It is time to seek the face of God! It's time to put away the foolishness that has ruined this land. What is that foolishness? Sin!
It is time to put away the bitterness between brothers in Christ; time to quit bickering between denominations, time to stop fighting within families. After all, a house divided among itself can't stand up against an enemy. Can't we sometimes just agree to disagree? Let's quit agruing about whether a female can wear makeup or not and start reaching the lost. Let's burn our list of do's and dont's and lets replace them with lists of why we love our God.
Anyway, I know I am on a soapbox.....
I may not be big enough to chane anything about this country but I know my God is big enough! So all I can do is seek his face and pray. What should we pray? I don't have all the right anwsers but I can tell you this is what I am going to pray right now.
Lord, it's me. Thank you you calling me into your family. I know that I am daughter of the most high God, ruler and creator of this world. Right now that same world is in some pretty bad trouble. I know that I am not big to change the minds and hearts of anyone, but you are the ruler of the heart. I am not in a position politically to change any about this country. Lord, many of the men who first ruled this country loved you. When they established this country it was in your name. Forgive my generation and those before me that are trying to take out You out of the foundations of our free lifes. Show your soms and daughters how to strategically keep you in our land. Lord, I know you have placed men and women amoung the ranks of politicians that control our country. I don't know their names, but I pray for each and every one of them. I pray that each and every day you will give them the courage and the strength to make the Godly decisions and to stand by their beliefes and to not fall into the enemys grasp of fear and rejection. Lord, I pray these men and women will always feel your strength and guidance with them each and everyday. I also pray for the sons and daugthers around this country that we can collectively seek your face and your heart. May we all stand together unified by prayer lifting up the name of Jesus. Lord, I pray that someday this country can once again glorify your name. In Jesus name, Amen.
I think in a time when 33 senators can vote against English as an official language for the USA, that a female and a muslim are running for president, the current Christian presidant can't return to office, war is raging with the threat of nuclear bombs, mothers have the "right" to choose life or death for their unborn child, and famine and death reign, IT IS TIME TO PRAY!!
It is TIME!! It is time for those who know they are called by the name of the Almighty, the ruler and creator of this Earth to come together, to collectively cry out to the father in humility. I belive that means saying we don't know how to fix it. It is time to pray, better yet call out to the father from a humble heart fervently praying for our country. It is time to seek the face of God! It's time to put away the foolishness that has ruined this land. What is that foolishness? Sin!
It is time to put away the bitterness between brothers in Christ; time to quit bickering between denominations, time to stop fighting within families. After all, a house divided among itself can't stand up against an enemy. Can't we sometimes just agree to disagree? Let's quit agruing about whether a female can wear makeup or not and start reaching the lost. Let's burn our list of do's and dont's and lets replace them with lists of why we love our God.
Anyway, I know I am on a soapbox.....
I may not be big enough to chane anything about this country but I know my God is big enough! So all I can do is seek his face and pray. What should we pray? I don't have all the right anwsers but I can tell you this is what I am going to pray right now.
Lord, it's me. Thank you you calling me into your family. I know that I am daughter of the most high God, ruler and creator of this world. Right now that same world is in some pretty bad trouble. I know that I am not big to change the minds and hearts of anyone, but you are the ruler of the heart. I am not in a position politically to change any about this country. Lord, many of the men who first ruled this country loved you. When they established this country it was in your name. Forgive my generation and those before me that are trying to take out You out of the foundations of our free lifes. Show your soms and daughters how to strategically keep you in our land. Lord, I know you have placed men and women amoung the ranks of politicians that control our country. I don't know their names, but I pray for each and every one of them. I pray that each and every day you will give them the courage and the strength to make the Godly decisions and to stand by their beliefes and to not fall into the enemys grasp of fear and rejection. Lord, I pray these men and women will always feel your strength and guidance with them each and everyday. I also pray for the sons and daugthers around this country that we can collectively seek your face and your heart. May we all stand together unified by prayer lifting up the name of Jesus. Lord, I pray that someday this country can once again glorify your name. In Jesus name, Amen.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Just Venting
okay, so I am having a rough day. Why can't my boys get the potty training thing??? I've tried the "reward program". I am just really frustrated today. I know I just need to calm down take a few deep breaths and relax. In... out... in.... out
okay, now I just want to cry, every other mom has done it. I can too. Just when? When are hey going to get that I am not punishing them by making them use the potty.... it's just life.
OKay, I'm better. you know I think they had a good thing going back in the biblical days. You know back then during a women's "time" every month they were sent from the camp. I think that is a good idea, then no one has to deal with me and I don't have to deal with anyone. Doesn't that sound great?
back to work now.... I just needed a moment to reflect and breath.......
okay, now I just want to cry, every other mom has done it. I can too. Just when? When are hey going to get that I am not punishing them by making them use the potty.... it's just life.
OKay, I'm better. you know I think they had a good thing going back in the biblical days. You know back then during a women's "time" every month they were sent from the camp. I think that is a good idea, then no one has to deal with me and I don't have to deal with anyone. Doesn't that sound great?
back to work now.... I just needed a moment to reflect and breath.......
Friday, October 26, 2007
Making Me a Jewel
God has created me to be a jewel, but first there has to be a process of refining. I am an unrefined jewel in the hand of God. Only the master jeweler can see the end setting and how I will adorn him.
(Quote from Fight like a Girl)
The stone you hold is the same chemical and molecular compound as an amethyst gemstone, but it differs vastly in value. This one cannot be set as jewelry, for it has no edges, facets, or fire. It is not unlike my children. There are those who go through the same process over and over again, until all their edges are dulled by the repeated experience. I love them and they are Mine, but how I long to recapture their fire, to give them facets, clean lines, and the beauty of captured light.
The stone referred to above had been processed for many weeks in a polisher. The only difference between that stone and an amethyst set in jewelry was the method of preparation. One stone chose the repeated processes of life, and the other chose to be refined by the fires.
When God speaks to you about an area of your life you have the same choice. You can chose to only allow him access to the rock-polisher dynamic that deals with the surface. You can also chose to completely surrender and give him full access to the heart and allow Him to place you in His almighty furnace. (Isaiah 48:10) I know the furnace hurts. But everything of beauty in this world is birthed through the process of fire. Simply put it is the fire that makes us pure.
It is the process of going through the fire and letting the master jeweler chisel and refine that reveals the true beauty and sets the stone in a valuable mounting.
The end result of the stone doesn’t have to be perfect, for is it the differences and the uniqueness of the jewelry that is adored.
Have you been shorting yourself of beautiful long-term gems because you were afraid of the process it was going to take to get them? Maybe you have simply endured the process and complained the whole way not granting access past the surface.
Heb 12:2 says “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” In our trials, no matter their size, it is crucial to allow the Joy of the Lord to be set before us. This joy is so amazing that it allowed Jesus to endure the pain and suffering of the cross. How much more can we focus on it and let it lead us through.
---Now it gets personal ----
Looking back in my life I can see the places where I haven’t allowed God to go any further than skin deep. All I have to account for those trials are a few polished rocks. Maybe I learned a thing or two but I didn’t allow God to dwell further than the surface. I will never get those times back. There is nothing I can do to change that. God forgive me! May my children forgive me. Complaining kept me from the beauty God was trying to reveal. May I always see the joy set before me and chose to endure the fire knowing that I emerge a beautiful valued gem. God forgive me for complaining and only letting the world see the trials and the hardship that I was having to endure instead of showing them that you are a mighty God and your blessings of life. Even now I see that you are not done with me. You have created me to be a unique a wonderfully made piece of jewelry special to you. You wear me on your robe with satisfaction and love seeing in me the completion of you Glory. I see you even now taking me your pendent off you robe dusting me off and saying, "Daughter you are beautiful." Showing me to Jesus and pointing to speacial gem in my pendent saying," hey you remember this one, we really had to work for a while on this one, but isn't it beautiful." Carefully you place me back on your robe waiting for the opportunity to add to me and make me more spectactular, displaying your glory.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Motherhood
To those who have encouraged me since my last blog - thank you so very much. It is nice to hear an encouraging word. Sometimes I feel like all I hear from people around me is what I am doing wrong, so to read those words that I am not a failure and that other moms have struggled with the same things that I do, is truly a blessing.
I know that I am not perfect but I do try. I know my boys know they are loved. I am blessed to be able to stay home and work (and make good money doing it) and still play with them everyday and hold them when they want me to.
So thanks again for the encouraging words.
I know that I am not perfect but I do try. I know my boys know they are loved. I am blessed to be able to stay home and work (and make good money doing it) and still play with them everyday and hold them when they want me to.
So thanks again for the encouraging words.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Worst Mom Award Winner
Okay, so kids should come with personalized handbooks. For example, one section should be on basic learning skills. Here is an example entry (I wish I had) I am right handed. I am a visual learner. I should know my basic colors and shapes by my thrid birthday. You can get me to potty train by... (still havn't figured that one out yet.)
So ywah right now I am a litle frustrated. Found out today that my almost four year old should be able to identify basic colors shapes and write most letters including his name. He does none of this. He can't even copy a circle. So whose fault is that? mine! All mine! Great now I have to play cacth up! I am just super frustrated. I can't even get him to potty on the toilet. How the heck am I supposed to get him to write his name????? What the blankity am I supposed to do now?
I know there are worse things to complain about but his is my little world and I am having a meltdown. I will be better later. I just want to cry right now. I am feeling quite overwhelmed and like I don't know when or where to start.
Help me lord!
So ywah right now I am a litle frustrated. Found out today that my almost four year old should be able to identify basic colors shapes and write most letters including his name. He does none of this. He can't even copy a circle. So whose fault is that? mine! All mine! Great now I have to play cacth up! I am just super frustrated. I can't even get him to potty on the toilet. How the heck am I supposed to get him to write his name????? What the blankity am I supposed to do now?
I know there are worse things to complain about but his is my little world and I am having a meltdown. I will be better later. I just want to cry right now. I am feeling quite overwhelmed and like I don't know when or where to start.
Help me lord!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Does God REALLY Exsist?
This is really cool! I found it on a another myspacer's blog. Read it now!
The professor of a university challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"
A student answered bravely, "Yes, he did."The professor then asked, "If God created everything, then he created evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our own actions), so God is evil. The student couldn't respond to that statement causing the professor to conclude that he had "proved" that "belief in God" was a fairy tale, and therefore worthless.
The young student stood up and asked the professor, "May I pose a question?" "Of course" answered the professor. The young student stood up and asked: "Professor does Cold exist?"The professor answered, "What kind of question is that?...Of course the cold exists...haven't you ever been cold?"The young student answered, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of Physics, what we consider cold, in fact is the absence of heat. Anything is able to be studied as long as it tranmits energy (heat). Absolute zero is the total absence of heat, but cold does not exist. What we have done is create a term to describe how we feel if we don't have body heat or we are not hot."
"And, does Dark exist?", he continued. The professor answered "of course". This time the student responded, "Again you're wrong Sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in fact simply the absence of light. Light can be studied, darkness can not. Darkness cannot be broken down. A simple ray of light tears the darkness and illuminates the surface where the light beam finishes. Dark is a term that we humans have created to describe what happens when there's lack of light"
Finally, the student asked the professor, "Sir does evil exist?" The professor replied, "Of course it exists, as I mentioned at the beginning, we see violations, crimes, and violence everywhere in the world, and those things are evil."The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist. Just as in the previous cases, Evil is a term which man has created to describe the result of the absence of God's presence in the hearts of man."After this, the professor bowed his head and didn't answer back.
The young man's name was Albert Einstein!!!
The professor of a university challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"
A student answered bravely, "Yes, he did."The professor then asked, "If God created everything, then he created evil. Since evil exists (as noticed by our own actions), so God is evil. The student couldn't respond to that statement causing the professor to conclude that he had "proved" that "belief in God" was a fairy tale, and therefore worthless.
The young student stood up and asked the professor, "May I pose a question?" "Of course" answered the professor. The young student stood up and asked: "Professor does Cold exist?"The professor answered, "What kind of question is that?...Of course the cold exists...haven't you ever been cold?"The young student answered, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of Physics, what we consider cold, in fact is the absence of heat. Anything is able to be studied as long as it tranmits energy (heat). Absolute zero is the total absence of heat, but cold does not exist. What we have done is create a term to describe how we feel if we don't have body heat or we are not hot."
"And, does Dark exist?", he continued. The professor answered "of course". This time the student responded, "Again you're wrong Sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in fact simply the absence of light. Light can be studied, darkness can not. Darkness cannot be broken down. A simple ray of light tears the darkness and illuminates the surface where the light beam finishes. Dark is a term that we humans have created to describe what happens when there's lack of light"
Finally, the student asked the professor, "Sir does evil exist?" The professor replied, "Of course it exists, as I mentioned at the beginning, we see violations, crimes, and violence everywhere in the world, and those things are evil."The student responded, "Sir, Evil does not exist. Just as in the previous cases, Evil is a term which man has created to describe the result of the absence of God's presence in the hearts of man."After this, the professor bowed his head and didn't answer back.
The young man's name was Albert Einstein!!!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Wisdom, Grace, and the the Fear of the Lord
I want to be a wise woman. So what is wisdom? The bible says that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. So I have to first have a holy Fear of the Lord then I can get wisdom. So what is the fear of the lord and do I personally fear the lord?
I thought I did but then this thought hit me "Do I fear the Lord, or do I just fear what could happen if godly men in my life found out what I am doing wrong?" What a question! I have always compared the Fear of the Lord to the Fear of Chuck (that's my daddy). Fear means "being afraid" right? I think growing up I became fearful of my Dad because of what happened when I messed up. He trained me to know that when I went against his word that there was a price to pay. It usually meant pain (especially in the rear area). There were consequences to my actions. As I learned this I began to realize that no matter what I did, daddy still loved me. Then I began to truly fear him because I was in awe of his grace. I understood that as his daughter I either brought him glory and honor or disgrace and dishonor. I wanted to honor my father. I wanted teachers, friends, and family to look at him and honor him simply because that is what he deserved. I began to fear bringing him dishonor, shame, and anything besides honor. I believe that this is where I began to fear him in the best way. I stood in awe of him. He had the right to shun me and disown me when I messed up, but he didn't. He still loved me.
Because he still loved me when I went wrong I began to love him more. I wanted to please him. Let's talk literally. He and mom have a meeting to go to and leave me at home I can either wait until he gets home and tells me to do the dishes before I go to bed or I can do them before he gets home. Both make him happy but the second pleases him. When he gets home and the dishes are already done then we can sit down together and love on each other before bed. This brings him honor. His daughter knew him enough to perform a simple act before he asked. What if someone came home with him? Then that person was witness to my love for dad. Why did washing the dishes show my daddy that I loved him? Because, my daddy liked a clean house and I wanted to make him happy.
How does that translate into the Fear of the Lord? I think fear comes in steps. First you have to understand what happens when go against the word of the authority. Second, you realize that the consequences you receive or not because the authority wants to hurt but to teach you a lesson because they love you. Third, you want to return your love to that authority and bring them honor. You still fear what could happen but you know that the consequences of your actions come from love.
So the Fear of the Lord means that I simply love what He loves and I hate what He hates. It means that I want to learn what to do to bring him honor and what to stay away from that brings him dishonor. It means that I love my king and will stand for his honor. The fear of the lord is not something that makes me tremble and shake and cower, but something that makes me stand up straight and bow before my king who loves me so! Literally, the fear of the lord in my life means that I want to have a clean house, I want my children to behave, I want my words to be words of healing not of death, I want to worship him every chance that I get, and ultimately that nothing is about me it is all about Him.
How does this connect to grace? Let me explain.
What is grace? Grace is not the right to do what ever the want. Grace is a manifestation of favor, favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity, an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied, or the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. Grace is given freely, for no reason at all. Grace was given to us at the cross. I like the one about the debt. As humans we have a sin debt, but that debt was paid long ago on a wooden cross drenched with blood. And it was done BEFORE Satan could bring suit against us demanding our life. WOW! That is grace!
But people don't understand this all the time. As humans sometimes we think, "Well, I am walking under grace so I can do whatever I want." The fear of the lord is the counterbalance to this belief. Standing in the fear of Lord I answer to that thought, "I could do what I wanted to but I remember the cross, I remember the debt that I owed and I want to make the person that paid that debt happy because I love Him." Grace does allow us freedom but when we are walking in the Fear of the Lord it becomes freedom to do what is right, freedom to worship, freedom from lies and deception of Satan.
Lord, I want wisdom. I want to walk in the Fear of You and Your grace. Help me see where I do not fear You. I want to bring YOU honor. For no one else deserves my love more than you. You are number one in my life. Thank you for paying the debt that I owed before I even knew the debt. Thank you for loving me even when I bring you dishonor and shame. I can not say enough that I love you! Help seek knowledge and gain wisdom. I ask for your wisdom even now. I call wisdom my sister. Let me ears be ready to hear your words and may my heart be soft enough for you to write your words upon it. I love you and may my day bring you honor and glory. In Jesus name! Amen!
I thought I did but then this thought hit me "Do I fear the Lord, or do I just fear what could happen if godly men in my life found out what I am doing wrong?" What a question! I have always compared the Fear of the Lord to the Fear of Chuck (that's my daddy). Fear means "being afraid" right? I think growing up I became fearful of my Dad because of what happened when I messed up. He trained me to know that when I went against his word that there was a price to pay. It usually meant pain (especially in the rear area). There were consequences to my actions. As I learned this I began to realize that no matter what I did, daddy still loved me. Then I began to truly fear him because I was in awe of his grace. I understood that as his daughter I either brought him glory and honor or disgrace and dishonor. I wanted to honor my father. I wanted teachers, friends, and family to look at him and honor him simply because that is what he deserved. I began to fear bringing him dishonor, shame, and anything besides honor. I believe that this is where I began to fear him in the best way. I stood in awe of him. He had the right to shun me and disown me when I messed up, but he didn't. He still loved me.
Because he still loved me when I went wrong I began to love him more. I wanted to please him. Let's talk literally. He and mom have a meeting to go to and leave me at home I can either wait until he gets home and tells me to do the dishes before I go to bed or I can do them before he gets home. Both make him happy but the second pleases him. When he gets home and the dishes are already done then we can sit down together and love on each other before bed. This brings him honor. His daughter knew him enough to perform a simple act before he asked. What if someone came home with him? Then that person was witness to my love for dad. Why did washing the dishes show my daddy that I loved him? Because, my daddy liked a clean house and I wanted to make him happy.
How does that translate into the Fear of the Lord? I think fear comes in steps. First you have to understand what happens when go against the word of the authority. Second, you realize that the consequences you receive or not because the authority wants to hurt but to teach you a lesson because they love you. Third, you want to return your love to that authority and bring them honor. You still fear what could happen but you know that the consequences of your actions come from love.
So the Fear of the Lord means that I simply love what He loves and I hate what He hates. It means that I want to learn what to do to bring him honor and what to stay away from that brings him dishonor. It means that I love my king and will stand for his honor. The fear of the lord is not something that makes me tremble and shake and cower, but something that makes me stand up straight and bow before my king who loves me so! Literally, the fear of the lord in my life means that I want to have a clean house, I want my children to behave, I want my words to be words of healing not of death, I want to worship him every chance that I get, and ultimately that nothing is about me it is all about Him.
How does this connect to grace? Let me explain.
What is grace? Grace is not the right to do what ever the want. Grace is a manifestation of favor, favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity, an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied, or the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. Grace is given freely, for no reason at all. Grace was given to us at the cross. I like the one about the debt. As humans we have a sin debt, but that debt was paid long ago on a wooden cross drenched with blood. And it was done BEFORE Satan could bring suit against us demanding our life. WOW! That is grace!
But people don't understand this all the time. As humans sometimes we think, "Well, I am walking under grace so I can do whatever I want." The fear of the lord is the counterbalance to this belief. Standing in the fear of Lord I answer to that thought, "I could do what I wanted to but I remember the cross, I remember the debt that I owed and I want to make the person that paid that debt happy because I love Him." Grace does allow us freedom but when we are walking in the Fear of the Lord it becomes freedom to do what is right, freedom to worship, freedom from lies and deception of Satan.
Lord, I want wisdom. I want to walk in the Fear of You and Your grace. Help me see where I do not fear You. I want to bring YOU honor. For no one else deserves my love more than you. You are number one in my life. Thank you for paying the debt that I owed before I even knew the debt. Thank you for loving me even when I bring you dishonor and shame. I can not say enough that I love you! Help seek knowledge and gain wisdom. I ask for your wisdom even now. I call wisdom my sister. Let me ears be ready to hear your words and may my heart be soft enough for you to write your words upon it. I love you and may my day bring you honor and glory. In Jesus name! Amen!
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